Turtlenecks & Asparagus

Thursday Morning

2012-01-26T10:01:00.000-08:00

For the grandparents, mainly, but all are welcome:

I will probably never get over his little body. Hand dimples, curls, eyelashes, his own 100% original profile, the way you can see traces of his rib cage despite his ample belly... it's just incredible to me.

Lately he makes this face while saying, "nuh nuh nuh nuh" and I worry he's copying me saying "No no no no" when he's about to a) attempt a dive bomb, b) try to climb onto the dishwasher while I load or empty it, c) sneak the iPad or my phone, d) insert [inedible/poisonous/choking hazard item] into his mouth. Which, by the way, I am constantly cleaning the floors, and somehow he still finds stuff. Hmph.

Enjoy your Thursday.

2 Years

2012-01-23T12:25:00.000-08:00

Break out the bubbly, for 'twas 2 years ago that Jeff married me, and I married Jeff.

Many song lyrics come to mind today....

You mean to me what I mean to you

Even though we ain't got money, I'm so in love with you honey,

I love you, and you alone were meant for me

Loooooove is a many splendored thing

Who ya gonna call?

You're my sunshine after the rain

Love you forever and forever, love you with all my heart

And, on completely serious note, I was running the other night sans baby which means I could listen to music. I don't really have a "work out playlist," so I usually just start it on a song that has a good beat, but if the song that comes after that doesn't, I'm in the zone by then and too lazy to change it. A Case of You by Joni Mitchell came on, an example of a bad running rhythm, but I do love that song and enjoyed it. I know this is cheesy, but tears filled my little eyes as she sang,

I remember that time you told me, you said,

'Love is touching souls',

Surely you've touched mine cause,

Part of you pours out of me

in these lines from time to time

In all her silliness, Joni said something that was really true. As powerful as "I love you" is, I love a lot of things and say it all the time. I love Diet Coke. I love Mitt Romney. I love The Beatles. I love Mary Cassatt paintings. I love iceberg roses. I love skinny jeans. I love being skinny. I love big baskets. But Jeff is the only person who's touched my soul, in a very Bronte sort of way. Disagreements and moments of exasperation may pepper some days, but who cares? He's the one who's rooted down deep into my soul, he's a part of me more than anyone else ever could be, and I am so happy that I'll never, ever be without him.

So to millions more, Jeff. I love you in a big way.

Friday Night

2012-01-20T22:06:00.001-08:00

* we are watching midnight in Paris AGAIN. It might be one of my all time favorites.
* Instagram is my new favorite thing. So much more positive than Facebook and 100% pictures of things my friends are up to. I'm staying faaaar, far away from Facebook. This is mainly because the political rants are driving me up the wall.
* Last Sunday we were sitting in church minding our own biz and Jude was standing on the bench making eyes at our friends sitting behind us, and then without warning, "Bleeeeereccchhchhxjchchjxhh". Jude regurgitated more than I ever knew he could fit into his tummy. Poor baby, poor callisters who also got barfed on, poor church pew. Then Jeff and I got the stomach flu Monday. I cannot even begin to say how worthless I am when I have the stomach flu. It turns me into a depressed banshee. It was actually sort of sweet in the end, though, the 3 of us flopped on the couch, and floor, guzzling Gatorade, Jude took extra naps snuggled with his dad, when he was up we let him play with my phone to keep him happy while we were heaving, and when we felt better we had French toast and watched the debate. Jeff gets a high 5 and a pat on the bum for reminding me about life's blessings while I was wishing I were dead on the bathroom floor :).
* anyway tonight we rented a carpet cleaner and shampooed the pew at the church so that the fine folk sitting on it in church Sunday don't have to wonder what that smell is....
And we had a grand old time so we shampooed our carpet at home. Don't be jealous, your time will come to shampoo your Friday night away.
* happy anniversary to us on Monday!

11 Months: Baby No More

2012-01-14T10:01:00.000-08:00

Suddenly, Jude is a big tease.

His mannerisms seem so much older to me.

He has discovered he can scream, and screams for joy allllll day long.

It still makes me laugh, but I try not to egg him on.

He has some serious zeal for life.

He crawls around at break-neck speeds, blowing rasperries as he goes, mumbling his baby talk, growling,

and of course his famous machine-gun laugh.

Jude learned how to wave and now will perform his trick whenever he fancies.

Door stops are still his fave.

Along with food.

He was eating the same amounts of food for so many months, now that is just not going to do it.

He is throwing back a lot more of everything.

This makes me excited to switch to cow's milk in T-30 days!

I sneak in a bit here and there to make sure he's fine with the transition.

We are wearing regular shirts and pants whenever possible, because it's hard enough to change a diaper; getting him to hold still to snap him up afterward is like asking him to take the Louisiana Bar!

We are also done with bibs (he rips them right off; tied or velcro).

He's drooling a bit less, though, so that's nice. (Emphasis on "a bit".)

Jude loves his sippies, thank heavens! I thought he'd never let go of the baba!

He wants to dive-bomb off the bed.

He puts his binky into Jeff's mouth and laughs his head off.

I'm starting to get a whiff of tantrums.

He loves BALLS.

He throws and then chases them around the house all day.

Must come from his Uncle Cameron :).

"Mamamama"

"Dadadadada"

"Nananana"

"Bababababa"

He has so much love to give.

We can't imagine life without him.

We are so grateful.

Nap Time

2012-01-12T13:59:00.000-08:00

Which means I'm showered, wearing normal clothes, and blogging doesn't sound like a chore right now, so here am I!

We're in a good groove right now, I think. We're just doing the day-to-day, which means jogging, gym and jogging for Jeff, cooking, tickling, picking up, putting down, zerberts, kissing, dumping out toys, putting them away, chasing rolling balls around the house, ba-bas, mushy food, reading, walks, yoga with friends, running errands, podcasts, Parks and Recreation on Hulu, among other things.

Some thoughts:

- We're about to hit our stretch of Anniversary, Jeff's bday a week later, and then 2 weeks after that, Jude's birthday (!) AND Valentine's Day, which all adds up to very fun, but expensive, and some planning is in order. That has been on my noggin.

- I've organized a bunch of out-grown baby clothes and a few kitchen drawers (is it bad if you had 3 "junk drawers"???), and realized we have several categories of "things" that I want a separate place for, but it's a small amount or small items. They don't need a whole drawer or shelf. I think one of THESE in our future:

- We've cut out treats Monday to Saturday like we did in good old 2009 when we were boyfriend/girlfriend, full of sass and motivation. By Saturday I'm near tears but I can't deny it feels good, and is helping us tighten the belts.

- Oop I hear Jude rattling his crib bars. Bye.

Downton Returns

2012-01-08T12:32:00.000-08:00

The world has been invited to dine at Downton, and I feel a little like this:

I wish wish wish all my female family compatriots could be here to watch it with me. Alas, they are not. And I can't ask them to wait until such a time. Jeff is out of the mix because he worked a brilliant strategy a few years ago when it came to period pieces. After asking (negotiating?) for weeks that he watch P&P with me, he acquiesced but then proceeded to, throughout the entire thing, make snide, mocking comments and groan like he was passing kidney stones. He accomplished what he set out to: ensure that I would never want him to watch a period piece with him ever again.

I'm also a little nervous. I saw the trailer for Season 2 and got teary-eyed; I love these characters so much! Lord Grantham when he keeps Bates on because it "just wasn't right" to let him go, Lady Grantham and her perfect, selfish wit, "What about MY pride? Is it to be sacrificed on the alter of Mosley's ambition??" What if it doesn't live up to the first season? They also have signed on for a third season; what if it goes downhill as they grapple for ways to extend the plot lines to make more cash? I have a way of idealizing shows, actors, etc. and then later when I revisit it or the show continues, I'm disappointed. (Grey's Anatomy and Felicity, I'm talkin to you, you unbearable shows that started out awesome!)

Ah well, I shall watch it by my lonesome and text commentary to those I love when necessary. And, "in situations such as this, one can normally find an Italian who isn't too picky."

Christmas Day Pictures

2012-01-05T21:06:00.000-08:00

Elizabeth has really learned more than a thing or two about photography. We took family pictures on Christmas day, and I'm so glad. The Eatons have never been diligent about family pictures, or Christmas cards, but Elizabeth and I are, and it was a huge sigh of relief to get this crossed off.

The big Eaton pics are still being edited, but here are some of ours, the Hayes Chapter:

And here are some more, just for fun:

Christmas Travels and their Ability to Test the Limits of Sanity

2012-01-04T01:07:00.000-08:00

On the 26th me and my boys got in the car with presents and plans to extend the merriment in Utah.

This was tweaked by the gridlock that began somewhere on the 91, the most odious of all freeways ever created by man, and lasted until somewhere past Vegas. For about 40 minutes of that Jude was screaming and we wondered if we would have ulcers if we didn't turn around and go home. We didn't, and Jude chilled out after not too long.

BUT:

It took us 9 hours to get to Las Vegas, people. 9 HOURS!

We did stop in Barstow to get some food and opted against Chipotle or In-n-Out, thinking they'd be more crowded because they are more delicious. They were, but that doesn't mean Panda Express, our final selection, wasn't also absolutely stuffed with weary, sweaty travelers. Also, no changing table in the bathroom. After standing in line for 30 minutes we snarfed every inch of that food in our frustration. My cousin Becca would call that F.K.B. (Fat Kid Behavior).

Anyway, once we got past Vegas it opened up a bit so we kept going. When we were getting closer to St. George my eyelids were heavy so we stopped. We were going to stop at Motel 6 but I didn't want Herpes so we chose The Days Inn.

At that point, about 1:30a.m., Jude had been sleeping for about 7 hours, woke up when we were getting into our room, and wanted to party. Delirium. Wriggly baby. We ended up letting him sleep with us that night, which had never happened before, not once. (This co-sleeping continued on our trip because guess what: infants, past a certain young age, do not like sleeping in unfamiliar places. Which is why, young couples out there who think they can save their European adventures for later because they can take their babies on every vacation and it'll be just minimal extra work: it's not that all the other parents are wimps, it's just that traveling turns babies into monsters.)

I didn't sleep well that night; I kept worrying I'd roll over on my Jude. I woke up at 5a.m. and tried to convince Jeff we should just hit the road, that I was awake enough. He thought that was hilarious. We left at 7.

Jude found the candy. He didn't penetrate the ziplock.

We made it to Bountiful by lunch time and it was all worth it.

More to come, but for now,

The End.

Christmas Eve 2011

2011-12-25T03:19:00.000-08:00

I feel like it's any year between 1987 and 1999 because I can't sleep on Christmas Eve!

I'm also winding down from one of the best Christmas Eves I've ever had in my life. For the first time in 4 years, my entire immediate family is here, brood and spouses in tow. Because of bedtimes and hopes of simplification we didn't do some of the traditional things (outings) that would seem absolutely, 100% necessary to effectuate the proper Christmas glow, but I didn't even care and it didn't take away from anything. We had a lovely time just hanging out and keeping the marauding babies from injuring themselves. Not too much sugar, not too much noise (or maybe it was all the same but I was just more emotionally and mentally prepared for the havoc), it was all just perfect, which is, I know, a bold word choice. We had dinner, a little Family Talent Show (small interruption from Ian's meltdown), back to our house for dessert, the kids playing really well together, bedtime for all babies (the Jexies are staying at our house), and then the adults got to sit around talking and laughing, mostly uninterrupted. I suppose that's all I really wanted, and it came off without a hitch!

This being my first Christmas as a mother, I would have sung a favorite song at the Family Talent Show, but I really don't think I could have gotten through a verse (no, it was not going to be Breath of Heaven or Mary Did You Know?). When is this all going to ease off on my emotions? It feels like ever since February 14 I have lived on a crumbly, narrow strip of composure where weeping borders on either side. Why don't we throw all that goes along with Christian belief at this time of year? That will really work wonders for me.

Mimi love

Launching water balloons at the Elementary School, because Christmas is not Christmas without a dollop of hooligan. Do you see Harry out in the distance? He got pegged in the shoulder.

Jude and Ian being rugrats, comrades, pals. It turns out the both love climbing on things they shouldn't, eating things they shouldn't, whacking things they should and/or shouldn't, but only Jude finds it necessary to grab hair.

Thees ees thee life.

Dad issuing command re: food. That little pixie doodle on his lap was the #1 sweetheart and snuggler of the day. I cannot even tell you.

Guess what: Jeff has an ear infection, a sinus infection, but was still as sweet and Christmassy as can be, and my favorite partygoer.

Some Christmas bagpipe -- duh.

Tasting dirt for the first time. No qualms.

Nice, Harry. :)

Until tomorrow! Merry Christmas!

Bullets

2011-12-19T22:53:00.000-08:00

I remember reading an Albert Schweitzer quote once, "Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory." I am actually lucky to have good health so Albert, I'm half way there. Except for a few pockets of life when I was getting the stomach flu all the time, my immune system could beat up your immune system. Then last night while sitting in the family room chatting up my siblings that are home for Christmas, I could feel the aches coming on. 5 minutes after they left I was bundled up on the couch with a blanket pulled up to my chin, shivering. The flu whacked me on the head and it's still throbbing. I never appreciate how healthy I am until I'm not. Just for added fun, Jude got a skin infection called Folliculitis. Please don't google image-es it, it's gross and Jude's version is not that bad. But he is on a couple of antibiotics and for this Jeff and I are sad. Jeff is starting to feel poorly (because how could he escape at this point?), so maybe DayQuil will be seeing us through this Christmas.
This is why Newt would not get my vote:

Just as Huckabee, look-alike of devious President Logan on 24, did not make the cut, Newt/Mr. Henry F. Potter, "the richest, meanest man in the county" will not either. Am I the only one seeing this resemblance?

My mom's Christmas Caramels are legend. Everyone wants them, no one can make them successfully except her. Once Jeff and I even made them WITH her standing right there, and they were a crap batch. Tonight I had her over to really show me how it's done. To guide me and my silicone scraper, give me all her tricks and bounties of caramel knowledge. I still don't know how to do it. Like the English language, there was no consistency with the rules. The varying temperature, the whisking, the dripping of the cream/condensed milk blend, it's all coded into her wrist and doesn't translate.
I'm so out of the music scene I didn't even listen to one second of a new Coldplay song until a few days ago. I used to be so obsessed with them I could tell you how many days remained until their next album released. I pre-ordered X&Y and waited up until midnight to begin the download. My how things have changed.
Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight!

10 Months: Holiday Baby

2011-12-14T20:39:00.000-08:00

Jude's ringing in the beginning of his 11th month of life with a bang-a-rang fever. Very sad.

While he did offer up a few smiles, this was his zoned-out face most of the day:

Jude is busy busy. I read in all these books 10 months is the best age for photographing. What 10 month olds are they talking about?? I can never get him to hold still. Blurry blurry blurry are the pictures.

In other facets of Jude, his dream is to chew on our shoes. Dream unfulfilled.

He's pulling himself up on everything, which means he has had a bloody lip and a few spills. I think the worst part about those are the shocked and horrified looks he gets after, like he's wondering what he ever did to deserve this unpleasant surprise. I just tell him, "Welcome to mortality."

We put a few toys in his crib, and when he wakes up we can hear him talking to them, and then he climbs up on the bars and jumps. The mattress squeaking cracks us up.

He wants nothing to do with TV, or any toy for longer than 4 minutes, but if you wanted to tickle him 17 hours a day, he'd let you.

I'm sure he won't remember any of this Christmas, but having him around is making it pretty memorable for us.

Sigh

Maybe a little Mini Merzy too.

2011-12-13T21:50:00.000-08:00

9 times out of 10, people tell me Jude is a replica of Jeff.

But I have to say I am starting to see bits of Momala creep into his facial expressions, ever in his mouth and nose.

Moi as a wee bairn

Taken today.

But those eyes -- so completely 1000% his dad.

Also, just for the record:

He is not named after Jude Law, (no matter how handsome Jude Law may be). Can't you just see it: "Yes, my child, it is your father's hope and mine that you grow to be an infidel and a shmoozer, with many millions in your pocketbook from motion picture films." We do love The Beatles, but most of all I just love the name, and could see us with a little Jude Hayes running around, asking me to fill up his sippy with milk, chocolate milk if I was willing, putting on his shin guards for soccer practice, spilling everything everwhere, making up knock-knock jokes that don't make any sense, etc.

The Time Has Come, the Walrus said

2011-12-10T20:33:00.001-08:00

to baby proof your house.

When Jude wakes up, he's going to be severely disappointed.

Maybe he's a glass-half-full sort of guy, though, and will be excited for one more thing that makes a loud noise when it's whacked, one more thing to climb on and taste.

Dustbuster

2011-12-09T10:57:00.001-08:00

This morning I was talking to my dad on the phone and noticed a big black spider nestled in one of the TV cabinet crevices. Sometimes I don't mind a spider in the house because, assuming it's not lazy, it will eat a more meddlesome bug. But this one had a big, juicy body and those are freaky. I thought to myself it must be done away with when I was off the phone.

When that happened, I returned to the spider spot but it had fled.

A few minutes later, Jude was taking interest in the nothing-spot to the left of the fireplace. I whipped myself over and YES -- the spider had migrated. I gasped, slid Jude out of the way (the nice thing about soft cotton pants on wood floors), grabbed the dustbuster, aimed, and ignited. When I looked, the spider was gone.

Heaving a sigh of relief, I headed for the side door to empty the dustbuster into the garbage bins waiting for pick-up, when I glanced at the nose of the dustbuster. There sat the angry spider an arm's length away.

Shrieking, I did the only appropriate thing and chucked the dustbuster onto the driveway.

The End.

Jude and Lyla

2011-12-05T15:23:00.001-08:00

A peek into fledgling social skills:

Lyla and Jude are 3 weeks apart. They've been together from the beginning, because their moms spend quite a bit of time together.

Jude's indifference was once a source of sorrow for Lyla. She was forced at an early age to develop a thicker skin.

Then Jude realized no man is an island.
Sometimes the affection is mutual.

But for the past little while Crazy J gets a little zealous.

Too zealous?

And then Crazy J gets a little insistent.

Which ends badly.

The End.

Aubs' Shower

2011-12-05T11:19:00.001-08:00

Saturday we gathered round to celebrate Aubrey's little babe!

I can not wait to meet her.

I met Aubrey in my first class on my first day of college. We've been friends ever since and it has been such a treat to share college, missions, dating, marrying, and now babies together. Throwing this shower was 100% lovely for me. It was also cake because I had the help of Shauna, Lisa, Erin, and many others.

Voila:

Erin, Holly, and Mama

Wistfully contemplating motherhood :)

This is how Mormons party hard.

Shauna and Erin, you are both lovely.

If you asked me on any given day I would say I'd love to have all boys, but items like that make me want to have a girl.

There are really 6 people in this photo!

Lyla's scavenging the wrapping paper.

We had a ball.

Baby Girl is so lucky; she has a mom with so much love to give (and she's hit the gene pool jackpot)!

Happy Shower and Happy Motherhood, Aubrey!

Lately

2011-12-01T21:42:00.001-08:00

- Cooking. I have said before it has taken me a while to find my culinary footing, but I am getting there. When HRH Gwyneth said "cooking is the sincerest expression of love", it actually, I have to admit, struck a chord. If I look at it purely as something I am doing to say those 3 winning words to my husband, it makes it much easier. And from there it has, at times, even been enjoyable. Usually that's when I try something tricky and it turns out the first time, or when I find a recipe with an ingredient list mostly to completely full of items I already have in the house.

- Running. Or is it more accurate to say jogging? Whichever it is, I do it 6 days a week. There are times in my past where I ranranran to lose weight but to no avail; I remained as a swarthy cherub a la Sistine Chapel. So I resented the running and dropped it. There have also been times where the efforts were fruitful, and not withstanding the large troughs of food I gobbled, the running whittled my waist. This time it's been sort of in the middle. I think it's a little bit runn(jogg)ing, a little bit not eating donuts and nachos.

ANYWAY, another bonus and motivating element is that Jude loves being outside, watching the scenery, drooling to excess, and usually I can run the distance I wish before he starts saying in a slightly distraught voice, "Momomomomomomomomomomom...."

- I have returned to the land of iPhone. I Face-Time-ed with Elizabeth yesterday morning while we fed our babies bottles. It was awesome and I remembered she naturally looks perfectly coiffed at 6:30 in the morning.

There's more, but it's 10:30 and my brain starts to shut down about now. That means blogging does too.

The Picture in Parting -- oh yes, lately we also go on at least one walk a day.

Thanksgiving, Mostly in B&W

2011-11-24T20:00:00.001-08:00

The bunch. We ate at my parents' and the Evans joined us. My dad made the turkey, and took out some dark meat and added some "King Noah" spices. What are King Noah spices? Ask him. But I can tell you they are good.

Mum and Ruthie

Dad and John

Jude was content to eat puffs, yams, and he somehow got some ice cream. SOMEhow.

The Apple Pie. It turned out the way it was supposed to, which is pretty awesome for me on the first try if I can pat my own back, but it was way more fun to make it than to eat it. Ruthie's tasted better.

We got home and unleashed my dream-come-trues. The tree is a little crooked but we're working on it. Jude started to -- you guessed it -- try to eat the star, so we hurried and topped our slanted tree.

"I now declare this bridge, OPEN!" 10 points if you know what I just quoted.

Merry Thanksgiving AND Christmas.

Down to Biz

2011-11-23T20:28:00.001-08:00

Jeff sparked the fireplace (proof that his love for me is stronger than his mindfulness of the gas bill).

I've got my Diet.

I've got my apron.

I've got my babe asleep.

I've got my spatula.

I've got a movie on I can listen to.

It's time to get my apple pie on.

The goose is getting fat

2011-11-21T12:11:00.001-08:00

Usually by now I've busted out the Christmas music.

I don't know what's going on this year, maybe the fact that I've been so busy wrestling my baby to the ground and pinning him there every time he needs his diaper or outfit changed (both are much more frequently needed than I'd like to say), but Thanksgiving has crept up ever so quickly.

I barely noticed a few days ago that THIS FRIDAY, I am well within my rights to make merry. I can patiently wait until then. Praises be!

Saturday we bought our tree; it's waiting to be assembled.
We bought a tree skirt. We also bought a tree topper.
And I hauled out from the garage all of the ornaments and decorations I've bought at After-Christmas sales and hoarded away for the past 3 years; Jeff had no idea! (We didn't decorate last year too much; I was too pregnant/bump-on-a-log-ish/grouchy.)
Since I'm not willing to risk Jeff scaling the roof to put up lights, I'm not sure what's going to happen on the exterior. We do have a lit wreath.

Just thinking about all these things makes my eyes well up with tears; I am counting the blessing of blessings that it is to share this holiday with my two best boys.

And counting my blessings is the goal of this Thursday, right?

Synergy.

Photo Fest for Grandparents

2011-11-17T12:55:00.001-08:00

5 points if you can spot his 2 bottom teeth and the drool splatters on the floor.

whackwhackwhackwhackwhackwhack

A little blurry, but that face just kills me.

As does that little bum wiggling around while he crawls.

"Want one, Mom? No? Good, because I have no concept of sharing right now. Remember that one time Dad was about to put my binky in my mouth and then stuck it in his own as a joke? Yeah, I screamed my head off. I'm glad we can look back and laugh."

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9 Months: Moving

2011-11-14T15:25:00.001-08:00

Where's my pause button? I need one.

Jude started crawling last week and has fallen in love with door stoppers. Whichever room I may have plopped him in, it takes about 10 seconds to start hearing the BOING BOING BOING until he pulls it off and starts whacking it against the wall.

He's got a couple of teeth and a few more still making their way.

I was making dinner last week and had him in his high chair. I'd sprinkle some Puffs onto his tray and he'd go at them like he hadn't eaten in about 5 years. He'd get a handful and before he could put them in his mouth he'd see more on the other side of the tray and grab those. After the dust settled he'd just have a bunch of soggy Puffs stuck to his hands, maybe 3 having made it into his tummy. Time to sprinkle more Puffs.

His drool officially broke my phone. It works out great for him because now that it's completely kaput, he has himself his dream toy and my new phone won't arrive at my doorstep for 2 weeks. I thought the iPhone craze was over and everyone standing in line outside the Apple stores would have been satisfied by now. Nope. So this is a sidenote: if you need to get ahold of me, email is the only way to go until further notice.

His personality becomes bigger and bigger all the time; I must be his mom because I am so enthralled. I am forced to stop in the middle of the grocery aisle and attack him with kisses, because he pulls the funniest, sweetest things out of his hat and I just can't stand it. And he loves me, too. We do appreciate all the love he gives back, it really does go a long, long way.

It's just going much too fast.

ALMOST There

2011-11-12T18:32:00.001-08:00

9 months later, I am 9 pounds away from pre-baby weight.

Please disregard my pants tucked into my socks; I was wearing boots.

This means I have lost at least 51 pounds, probably more because I stopped weighing myself the last few weeks of pregnancy.

I am excited and proud (toot toot that horn!), but I'm almost more horrified that I had that much chub to lose, for I so very much brought that on myself. And I'm still working on reaching my Zen about the fact that pregnancy is a thing that I'm not done with; I'll do this again and again over the next several years. Thank goodness the most delightsome small friends are the reasons for the jiggly-quality of a mother's body.

This week Jeff and I had a good laugh for about 10 minutes walking down memory lane, the lane of Meredith's Non-Stop Pregnancy Eating. I really thought I wasn't that bad at the time, that this weight was just mysteriously accumulating because the Universe was out to get me, but in hindsight, I know different. Now I remember Coney Island Footlong Hot Dogs at Sonic, entire boxes of Christmas Chocolate Covered Jo-Jos from Trader Jo's, Orange Juice by the gallon, Peanut Butter Smoothies, I could go on. And on.

However, I have hope that next time it will be different. (I say that like it's out of my hands completely. Ha!) Here's to the next 9 pounds, may they hit the road with more running and fewer treats, which is another blog post for another day.

Womp womp.

"Somehow or other, it came just the same."

2011-11-03T22:01:00.000-07:00

7 months after ordering our couch, voila! It's here!

This is the fulfillment of a life-long dream of mine. I have been sitting in heaven today.

Our family room is pretty much d-o-n-e. The art was enthusiastically picked up from Meredith Prevot in August. She knows what she's doing, and you can see more of her beautiful work HERE.

Happy Hallow's Ween 2011

2011-10-31T18:56:00.000-07:00

I brought him to Jeff's office where he was content to chew on his feet and watch other people poke at him.

When we got home he'd had enough of the whole fuzzy mess, so here is what we've got. Please note the Chinese Water Torture about to fall off his chin -- teething has upped his faucet-like drooling to record breaking floods. And he wouldn't take his eyes off his Dad mowing the lawn....

You should see how he dresses up to take out the garbage and get the mail.

Happy Halloween to all and to all a good night.

Teeth

2011-10-28T18:03:00.000-07:00

Jude's gums are being slowly assaulted by 5 teeth. I'd post a picture of the culprits but it's all I can do to get a glimpse myself. Naps and sleep are spotty. His mood is way up and way down. And I forgot this was coming and thought there would be smooth sailing for a while.

And that is all I have to say about that.

At least I'm not married to this idiot.

Bay Area Trip 2011

2011-10-23T21:52:00.000-07:00

We hung out on campus, shopped, visited with the Campbells, Reynolds, Jacobs, Buskirks, went to San Fransisco, went to Reunion stuff, and really, altogether, had a great time. I love NorCal.

Eat your heart out.

I did my hair. For reals. I turned on the blow dryer, took my round brush in hand, and twirled.

Ok I'm sorry to break the news to Aunts Erica, Angie, Elizabeth, and Sarah: Jude loves each of you, but he has an unprecedented twinkle for Aunt Michelle. He L-O-V-E-D her and would practically lunge into her arms giggling.

A dying breed found on campus.

That awesome bridge and those awesome boys

Never mind my double chin. I love those tiny little fingers on my face.

Moments of imparted wisdom

Ghirardelli Square was a little more on the beaten path than Jeff wanted to invest time in, but I needed some chocolate, and I needed it fast.

Union Square

Jude is obsessed with facing out in the Bjorn. He goes into high octane energy expenditure.

Crashed in the stroller

And last but not least, paying respects to my Grandparents' house in Palo Alto. We came here last year with Jude in-tummy. They put in solar panels; otherwise everything else seems to be the same, it still breaks my heart a little that it's not ours anymore, but que sera sera.

We are really tired, but if being tired in exchange for good family times is wrong I don't want to be right.

Reuniting

2011-10-22T14:45:00.000-07:00

I'm here with my boys at Jeff's 5 year Law School Reunion in the crisp Palo Alto, observing the nerdy granolas, wondering what it would have been like if I'd met Jeff earlier and been here with him, eating the free food, trying to keep Jude from having an I-Don't-Sleep-Well-Ever-On-Vacation meltdown (but he's currently sleeping in the stroller and his lips are smushed and it looks so darn cute), eavesdropping on conversations about your typical nerdy things, remembering coming here a few times with my cousins when we'd visit family in them younger days, smelling the Palo Alto smell that always gets me choked up for those heavenly visits in them younger days and how my childhood is so wrapped up in this place, and sighing a lot. And then grumbling when Jude starts shrieking like he did in months 0 to 3.

P.S. Jeff and I would go back and forth on taking Jude to Europe whenever it is that we actually go. (I should mention we were planning a trip for our first anniversary but low and behold I became a vessel for the next generation.) After this trip, not a chance, not if you paid me.

8 Months

2011-10-16T19:05:00.000-07:00

8

Jude's been with us for an entire BYU academic year, and almost as long as he crisped in utero.

He jabbers from the minute I get him out of his crib in the morning to a couple of hours later when he goes down for a nap. Nonstop jabber. He makes us feel like a million bucks at every crib pick-up -- kicking, squealing, eating shoulders, he does everything but throw confetti.

Our baby boy pulls himself into plank position with his arms straight out hanging onto the crib bars. We lowered it another knotch.

He is trying to clap and wants the remotes.

He also wants to crawl, but isn't quite there yet. After he gets on all 4s and rocks back and forth a few times he either slides down to the ground or retreats back onto his bum. Here he is his own source of frustration. Late afternoon is the times when it all hits him just how cruel the world can be. It's very hard that I make him wear clothes, don't let him play with those remotes, my phone, my keys, paper, my food, and the desktop keyboard. Very hard. Sometimes Jeff walks through the door and it's "HIHONEYWILLYOUTAKEHIMTHANKS".

Ah, but he is just such a sweet, exuberant, intensely energetic, wiggly delight. We will never get over how wonderful he is.

Grunt/Laugh/Muscle Flex -- very intense.

Forgotten PhotoBooth Gems

2011-10-13T16:30:00.000-07:00

The loveliest things I ever did see.

Monday Morning

2011-10-10T10:38:00.000-07:00

I think Jude makes a big mess on his clothes just so I have to strip him down. He loves basking in the glory of only a diaper. But, I'm paranoid about him being cold so I made him wear a hat while I took some pictures of him admiring the fleurs that act as an Apple TV screen saver.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2011-10-05T20:20:00.000-07:00

As of today, with the torrential downpour that lasted every inch of the day, it is officially MY season. I love fall and winter best, and always have. Then I went and got engaged, married, and had a baby during these two seasons. Bonus points. I think spring and summer are awesome, and usually appreciate the shift in seasons no matter which direction we are heading on the barometer, but you know, I just get so much more excited when the days get shorter and the world is cozier. That plus my mellloooowwww music preference, and maybe our friend Rodney Ashton was right when he told me: "Wow, you are a dark, dark person." Now let's break out the tinsel!

On another topic, Jude now talks in his sleep. Two nights ago I woke up medianoche to hear "dadadada buhbuhbuhbuhbuh dada mememememememememe" and thought that was odd. I went over to his room wondering why he wasn't screaming if he'd woken up. Dead asleep. Just jabbering away with his eyes closed, body totally relaxed. He's done it once since in the middle of one of his naps. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree!

And a picture in parting:

From the day he was born -- I forgot about this one.

Becca & Art's Wedding

2011-10-02T19:28:00.000-07:00

I got back late last night from one of the best weddings I've ever been to. My cousin Becca married Art in the Salt Lake City temple, and therefore we gathered and partied!

The sealing was beautiful and made my heart beat with extra enthusiasm, the dinner the night before tasty, the reception at Sundance was breathtaking, and the bride and groom were lovey and spectacular. And yes, they really are that good looking!

Harry was in charge of the music, and once the traditional dances were over, he changed it up from Ryan Adams, Ron Sexsmith, David Gray, and David Hopkins over to the tunes that force you to just get down. I haven't gotten down in....a long time, and a hibernating bear was awakened!! I handed Jude over to my mom, and my cousins, siblings, their husbands, and I shook our bums for hours. If it's possible to have a hangover in a body that is 100% sober, that's what I had Saturday morning. I only wished Jeff was there, but boo, he had to stay behind and bill hours. They even played one of his favorite songs, which shall remain nameless, I'll only tell you it rhymes with Marty in the USA. :)

I am so blessed with family. My family, Jeff's family, I really couldn't ask for better friends and companions. Whenever we're together, I just don't want it to end.

Setting up for the reception and loving on my babe.

Congrats to the Mr. and Mrs. Gutierrez couple! I love you so much, Becc!

Jude's Drug, Plus a Nickname I Don't Use Anymore

2011-09-27T17:30:00.000-07:00

I just discovered that if Jude is fussing for whatever reason, his angst can be soothed by the vocal stylings of moi, a la How Much is that Doggy in the Window.

If you don't know it, it goes a little like

How MUCH is that doggy in the window,
(Ruff ruff!)
The one with the waggly tail?
How MUCH is that doggy in the window,
(Ruff ruff!)
I do hope that doggy's for sale.

My mom used to sing it to us when we were taking our bath and it just started slipping out of my mouth. No other song has ever had such a powerful effect.

My mom used to also call my brother "Buster Brown" when he was a babe. That also started slipping out of my mouth, and then I realized I didn't know who or what Buster Brown was. I looked it up on Wikipedia. Freaky. (I just asked my mom what she took it from and apparently it was a brand of shoes when she was growing up.)

The End.

The Day Whole Foods and I were Friends

2011-09-21T20:56:00.000-07:00

I have a funky, fond amusement for Whole Foods, but I always feel a little like an intruder when I go in. I feel certain they ALL know that I think the people shopping in certain sections are being taken for a ride because there is just no reason for ____ to cost that much. They know I think it smells funny in there, and they're offended. But I also have the sneaking suspicion that not everyone, but some of the flocks of liberal granolas there are aware of my conservative voting record, the amount of Diet Coke I guzzle every day, they know that I belong to a patriarchal religion, and lead a very traditional lifestyle. And they frown on it or feel sorry for me, as I am surely sheltered, out of touch, maybe brainwashed, or a bigot.

But one day, a month or two ago, I was picking up some Fenugreek at Whole Foods by Jeff's office. I was going to go visit him at work but Jude was hungry and I was starting to get flustered thinking of where I could feed him...

and then I slipped into a booth in the cafe section, and it was awesome because everyone that walked by was so happy for me, and we all understood each other.

It's been such a long time

2011-09-17T09:23:00.000-07:00

since he fell asleep on my lap,

and then stayed asleep while I moved him off my lap to the couch,

and snoozed while I clinked and clanked around in the kitchen.

Watchables Part III

2011-09-15T20:39:00.000-07:00

Jane Eyre -- THIS Jane Eyre.

There are about a million versions of Jane E. out in the cinematic abyss, but this one takes the cake! I can not stop thinking about it. With such a dark story it's easy to overdo this one. This version didn't give the feeling of such extreme darkness but also kept up the intensity of the story. Oooohh I really was sucked in.

7 Months: DADADADADADADADADADA

2011-09-14T15:49:00.000-07:00

Our Adjudicator is 7 months old. Woosh!

He has discovered our technology.

And he wants it.

He also stares at my Diet Coke cans. Maybe I should put on his wall, "Happiness is not having what you want, it's wanting what you have," which is, of course, parsnips and carrots and spinach and blueberries and rice cereal and not the lifeblood of the Hayes adults. This makes me feel a little like when Betty Draper puts Sally in a big, huge Time Out when she's caught smoking her ciggies -- oh well!

He started saying, "DADADADADADADADADADADADAADADADADA" yesterday.

He wouldn't take his naps yesterday. In the afternoon I put him in his jumper because that usually speeds up his realization that he wants to lie down and snooze. Nope, he stood there, arms straight out and flexed, with a very determined look on his face, squealing, yelling and clearly telling me and anyone else who cared to listen something of the utmost importance. (He later conked out.)

He's our bouncing, laughing, ticklish guy.

LABOR DAY

2011-09-14T09:43:00.000-07:00

We spent most of the weekend in Vegas this year. Jude did much better this road trip than the last time -- but when the last time is the time he cried 99% of the way, it couldn't have been much worse :). I think he's passed the test and is approved for the 7 hour car trip to Palo Alto we have planned for October.

It was great to see everyone and we properly gorged ourselves at a buffet. Robert had a deal at the hotel we went to, but we had to sign up to the "Player's Club" to get the discount. Jeff and I are now playahs.

We swam, watched some of the tube, talked and talked, and Jude was loved up. I would like to make it known that I love ALL my nieces and nephews equally, but it must be said that on this trip, my nephew seen below had me especially wrapped around his little fingers. He is so snugly and a total hoot.

I forgot my camera, but my father-in-law didn't, and here is some proof of the cuteness I get to behold every time our families get together. Ooooohs and Aaaahs are permissible.

Can you tell by the size of my cheeks that I spent a lot of time at the dessert bar of the buffet?

Happy Labor Day 2011

Splurge + Lights out!

2011-09-08T20:39:00.000-07:00

When we moved into our house (already much more than a year ago!), there was a fridge in the garage left for us. It was small but free, oh wait, I mean no additional cost, so we hauled it into the kitchen and have used it and used it good. It started leaking out the bottom but we kept using it until (ssshhhhocking!) it started damaging the wood.

We looked at fridges at Home Depot 2 weekends ago and found one we liked; Monday it went on sale. Kaboom! Now it sits in our kitchen, most lovely indeed. (Did you hear that, Pottery Barn? We ordered something on a Tuesday and it was in our house Thursday! We still haven't received our sectional.)

Then after that all hell broke loose. We were feeling quite reckless and hauled off and bought a Zoku popsicle maker on sale. It's been a big hit between the two of us, and we are excited to build street cred with Jude next year when he's old enough to eat po'sicos.

The power was out for 4 hours this afternoon. Jeff came home a couple of hours early, and even though his plan was to work from home, I think it was most providential as he would have otherwise been caught in the most hideous traffic, and unable to work at his office! We went to the pool and Jude was, for the first time, LOVING IT. I am so drinking the motherhood kool-aid.

He had not been loving how hot the house was. Hence the trip to the swimming pool.

We drove around trying to find out if and where the power was coming back on, came home, put Jude in his crib, lit candles, and just as I was starting to hit a Zen about all the fruits of my Costco labor that happened TODAY going to waste, the power turned back on.

And therefore I was able to blog.

Watchables Part II

2011-09-03T05:49:00.000-07:00

Not all streamable on Netflix....

My mom has been trying to get me to watch this for a while, and after some reluctance (the title is weird -- I could not remember what it was called), I am now appropriately addicted. I always have the subtitles on because their accents are funky and they mumble at times.

If you watch Downton Abbey, A&E's P&P, Keira Knightley's P&P, or Notting Hill, you'll recognize some faces. I like Brendon Coyle so much better as Mr. Bates; in this show he is so over the top with his condescending idealism. Anyway, it's really a sweet show and I'll keep watching it.

I'm sure we all know now that Mad Men is streamable on Netflix. I don't know how much more I can watch of this show. Usually when the episode is over I have a stomach ache. I skipped pretty much all of Season 4 and watched the season finale last night, just to, you know, get the gist. Oh Don. I love you and hate watching you self-destruct AND hurt people. Monogamy doesn't work for you, or you don't care to have monogamy work for you. Why are you (spoiler alert) remarrying???

I love watching the business with his kids/Betty. Perhaps because I am a suburban housewife, it's just interesting to see how it's portrayed and where they're taking them and how life looks for them.

The fashion aspect is too much fun with its full circle. Betty's turtleneck + slim fitting pants + flats? Hello -- that is my fall/winter uniform!

Jeff loves this show partly because it's set up like a French film; more about character development than plot development. It seems like a lot of the characters have stopped developing, and the plot lines are either outright dark or have a very grim undertow, so they better get back to the character evolution or it'll be a 100% debbie downer show.

And a picture in parting:

Jude and one of his chums

The messiest boy in all the land

2011-08-30T14:45:00.000-07:00

Maybe not the messiest, but it feels that way.

He doesn't mind.

And neither do I, really.

I also apparently turn into Jim Carrey during lunchtime.

Watchables Part I

2011-08-27T15:41:00.000-07:00

All streamable on Netflix....

1. Nursery University

I love NYC, have been there a few times, and have lamented in my head that the chances of living there at this point in life are probably zilch. That all changed when we watched this documentary on a handful of parents "from [a few] weeks of life" joining the rat race to get their 3 year olds into private preschools so they can feed into the best private kindergarten, and into the best private elementary, jr. high, etc. etc. OH MY GOSH. Preschool, no matter how you slice it, is a game of ABCs, numbers 1 through 10, Gogurt squirting all over the kids' hands and none of it into mouths, and free-play. These parents are acting like it's taking their medical boards. This is, of course, why the documentary exists, because it's too much fun to watch them sobbing about how they're so down to earth but will move to Boston if they don't get into their top preschool choice. Watch it. My favorite family was the Jewish I-Banker dad drinking his Sprite Zero for dinner with his Argentine wife who thinks all this anxiety over preschool is absolutely insane.

2. The Kennedys

I watched this about a month ago. Joe Kennedy is perhaps the most greedy, conniving stage parent, I loved Bobby, and Jack/Mr. Prez was just about as likable/detestable as I'd imagined. Katie Holmes did a great job. My favorite part about it all: The Boston accents were good! We had to watch a low-budge movie in high school about the Cuban Missile Crisis and the Kennedy accents were so bad it gave me a twitch for weeks afterward. I can't stand detectable fake accents. For this reason I will NEVER see a movie where Anne Hathaway is waxing British, and it's also why I fastforwarded through the scenes with "Carlotta" in Friday Night Lights. I'd rather poke my eyes out with a pencil eraser.

3. Forever Strong

Kinda cheesy, but uplifting. My brother tried to get my parents to move to UT when he was in high school so he could play on the Highland High rugby team, which is the team featured here. If you want to watch something on a Sunday with a subtle Mormon agenda, featuring that "poor" guy from Gossip Girl, one of the minor characters from Angels in the Outfield, the scorned ex-wife of Dean in Gilmore Girls, the Sam hobbit in LOTR, the dad in the modern Brady Bunch movies, and the female love interest in Tommy Boy, this movie is the one for you!

What to say?

2011-08-26T22:14:00.000-07:00

I don't know what to report. There's just a pile of important nothings going on around here these days.

I have, as usual, begun to look forward with no small amount of joy to the holidays that lie ahead. My toenails are even black in anticipation of Halloween. The holidays of October, November, and December are always amongst my favorites, but it's been so freaking hot, and plus I have a cute baby to share all this stuff with, so really, this is an all-time overload of excitement. Smoke is starting to come out my ears.

I love 30 Rock. "Her brain is quishy like a hacky-sack."

Since Jeff and I got married we looked forward to the day we could get a SECTIONAL. Oh a sectional upon which we would snuggle and sit. Back in APRIL we had enough money saved to push "submit order" for a Pottery Barn sectional that was on sale. We also had a coupon. So we still don't have it. It's been back ordered about 7 times. We would have scrapped it and moved on to another store, but they've started giving us 15% off every time its delivery gets postponed, so now it's cheaper than just about any other couch we could get. A couple of weeks ago, we were sure it would ship so we sold Jeff's bachelor couches on Craigslist to a blind bar tender for $100. Back ordered again. We get very cozy on our remaining piece of furniture.

Feeding Jude solids is so messy. Still nursing.

I saw The Help this week with some girlfraynds. I loved it. My lover and I also saw Crazy, Stupid Love while we were in UT, and I could have chopped out a few parts, but I loved that too. Could some missionaries please track down Ryan Gosling and bring him back to Mormonism?

TTFN.

Whacking around his toy, because it's such a fun new trick.

6 Months: Half an Annum

2011-08-14T15:44:00.000-07:00

Today our wee babe has 6 months under his diaper belt. Prepare yourselves for some gushing, for I am so very deep in baby heaven!

Jude is just delicious.

He puts everything in his mouth while letting his voice roll over the bottom of his throat.

He squeeeals and giggles and hums.

He started solids a few days ago, and pounds them down. It's like milk never existed. Hmph.

He is sleeping through the night (again) but knows how to self sooth now. High 5s ALL AROUND.

Jude rolls both ways now. The proud look on his face when he first rolled from his back to his tummy a few days ago was enough to vanquish all evil in the world (had all the evil in the world been privy).

Our baby boy is still snuggly, but only when he's tired or for about 15 seconds at a time. This is, of course, very sad, but since it's all part of the exciting growth I'm trying to be cheerful about it.

Here he's watching Jeff get something out of the cupboard.

He's very expressive. Sometimes his face looks very grown up to us, he furrows his brow, and has from the beginning. His chubby cheeks keep him facially connected to his babyness. Sometimes I just spend so much time nibbling on that chub.

This monkey is friendly. He greets most people, stranger or not, with a smile and has noticed BABIES. He perks right up when there's another baby next to him at church; it's like they're saying, "Hey. You, me, nursery, one year. It's so on. We'll drink some juice and throw blocks at the wall."

He chews and chews on my face. He laughs more for Jeff, sometimes for me.

This great love I have for him just grows and grows. When I look at my wedding pictures, I know I somehow love Jeff on a deeper level now than on that happy day of celebration. The same thing is happening with Jude. I may not be able to remember every little coo or flicker of his face, as much as I may try, but the things that happen every day do make my heart sing, hum, and hurt. He is a dream.

Happy 6 months, Jude. You make everything good.

UT + ID = Enough Pictures to Choke a Merzy

2011-08-10T20:09:00.000-07:00

We just got back from an 8 day trip to Utah and Idaho. It was a grand old time, pretty busy, and we loved it. As long as we had out there, we still didn't get to see everyone we wanted, but hey, one thing we can count on, we'll always return to the Beehive State. If we didn't catch you this time, we'll get our greedy little mitts on you next time.

So how is it that I had about 7 times more adults than usual surrounding me to help me with Jude, but I am exhausted?? Why do you have to pack 4,000 more objects when flying on a plane with a baby? And what will I do when I have more kids? Ah let's wait and let the chaos unfold....

I give unto you, in no particular order, The Hayes Family Vacay 2011:

Those of you who know Elizabean, how many millions of things can you imagine pouring out of her lovely mouth with this face? And I love how Ian is already accustomed to the exuuuberance. Ho hum, saith he.

We went to BYU and met up with E + kidlets. BYU is such a funny little place to visit. Oh, the Wilk, the Shade tops, the flirting.

This painting is on loan to the BYU Museum of Art from the Wheatleys. I vaguely remember them from living in Palo Alto as a tiny thing, and a little bit from our frequent visits. Thank you, Wheatleys.

Popped in on cousin Hilary. Look at her Minnie Me! (No, I know how to spell "mini," her name is Minnie and I was having myself a little play on words. Glory!)

When Jude goes a week without his jumper, he gets by on Grandma's lap while visiting her at work. Bouncebouncebouncebouncebouncebounce

I just get to squeeze him all the live long day.

We are at Park City in these pictures, but who could tell?? I am a little obsessed with the faces of J and J.

We went to Utah's Parade of Homes. Jeff loves looking through model homes -- put him on a row of them and call it Christmas! For some reason, they made a replica of the house from the movie Up, which I haven't seen because I started reading about it on Wikipedia and was bawling in about 15 seconds. Someday I'll be a good enough sailor to navigate through Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (past page 14), The Outsiders, and Up, but for now, best leave them alone. But the inside of the house was pretty cool, even if I don't have any connections to draw to Disney/Pixar.

So relaxed.

Marvel at the castle/tower thingy that Addie and I constructed!

Jude is lucky to have 2 Great-Grandmothers. Here he is meeting Great-Grandma Lee -- they had a snuggle.

Saying goodbye to Grandma Lee's house. I remember going through this transition with my Grandparents when I was in Jr. High; such a sad and sweet time.

Jude got to test drive his Grandpa's old highchair -- for about 5 minutes until he realized, "Hey, I see 5 bona fide adults staring at me. Staring and NOT holding me...I have a little trick to make that stop......"

Loving up Great-Grandma Hayes

Until next month, Yeetah!

A Potpourri of Blog Post Topics

2011-07-28T21:53:00.000-07:00

- A little Jude lovin because I can't not post about how terrific it is to have him....

- I was on NPR a couple of weeks ago! No, I will NOT get out! They were talking about Netflix raising their rates a bit and and I called in and voiced my opinion that paying $5 more per month is still better than $120+ for cable, but I did expect them to increase streamable content as a result. I'll be signing for a book deal any day now.

- Since my baby weight loss stopped happening about 2 months ago, I had to change something up. I am on a new diet. When this book, Eat to Live, arrived in my mailbox a la Amazon, I shrieked in both excitement and devastation. It has since removed all fun from my life, but I'm on day 4 and so far I'm feelin good, considering.

- We're going to UT next week and I am SO EXCITED. Uninterrupted time with my boo. Seeing family. Jude's first flight. It's going to be epic.

- My cousin that caught my bouquet just had a ring put on it. I would say the bouquet catching had some influence but she's way too amazing to rely on mystical floral powers for husband ensnaring. And this means Jude's 2nd flight in September for the wedding!

- So I had a birthday! I tend to have better odd-aged years than even-aged years, so I welcome 29 with open arms. July 11 dawned, and once Jude was up Jeff whisked me (us) into the car and we drove toward a little strip mall. He said, "Oh, we're getting gas and then we're going home," nonchalantly. Ah, but I knew he was really taking me to Cinnamon Productions, and there I had my first fountain diet coke and vegetarian breakfast wrap of my 30th yea-- I mean of being 29. I'd love to say I was one of those people who loved and lived life to the fullest in any situation, but I'll be perfectly and scrumptiously honest: birthdays are MUCH better being married! Also I like extending my bdays as long as I can tackily get away with. I had a couple of friend lunches over the week and then 2 weeks after the day we had a family bday (when everyone could sit their bottoms around the same table). I couldn't decide what kind of cake I wanted so I let my mom (the cake maker) decide. She did a great job.

I wished I could eat the whole thing and not gain any weight.

La Chambre de Jude

2011-07-23T14:20:00.000-07:00

5 months later, Jude's room is as done as it's going to be.

There's a lot of love in everything in here. A lot of "vintage" that we are stoked about (aka Craigslist and generous bequeathals from family with baby-no-more kids)!

As soon as his name popped into my head halfway through pregnancy, I could just see us with a little Jude Hayes running around getting into well-intended mischief. Then I could see us with "Hey, Jude" on his wall over his crib. And so it is done!

Letters: I wrapped the letters (very sloppily) with yarn.

Crib: My parents' neighbors were getting rid of this crib 8 years ago when my first nephew was in-tummy. My mom took it off their hands thinking it could go to Elizabeth's kids, but they didn't need it. And in the attic it sat until about 7 months ago. We had to order new hardware from a company in Indiana, which was a mini-fiasco, but here it stands, and Jude has slept in it from about Day 4. We got the mobile with gift card money from our wedding from PB Kids -- does that say something about how little time there was between the wedding and OB's office? Yikes!

Crib Bedding: PB Kids from Uncle Robert and Aunt Erica. Thanks, guys! Crib skirt made by Mimi.

Glider: PB Kids bought off craigslist for about 1/23,947 the price. This thing has improved my quality of postpartum life 5 fold!

Lamp: Garage sale scavenging

Basket o' Blankets & Burp Cloths: Target

Hanging on the Left: Le Petit Prince postcards Jeff got on his mission. I love them. I should probably get a close up shot. Maybe another time.

We didn't really know what to do with decorating the nursery. I didn't want to do a sports theme or an animal theme or a superhero theme -- how do we know if Jude will be into any of those things?? I've been to France and loved it. Jeff lived in France and it's etched in his soul. I really love how much he loves the language and place. So if there is a theme, it's "Cultural Appreciation," focusing largely on French with a knod to Celtic Gaelic :).

Wall Art: Frames from Ikea. I love the colors in these Tin Tin posters, and so does Jude. In fact when I rock him to sleep I usually swivel around a little so he can't see the Scottish one, because he starts staring at it and forgets he's wiped out and is supposed to be falling asleep. Have I ever watched Tin Tin? Nope! Who cares? Steven Spielberg is making a Dreamworks movie due out next summer! With Jude's bursts of intense energy, though, I don't think we'll be taking him to see it in the theater....

Hippo Chair: PB Kids floor sample 70% off.

Dresser: My parents got that used when I was in elementary school, my sisters and I used it, and then Jeff and I gave it a facelift. This thing will never say die!

I hope you enjoy it, Jude! Because you're sleepin' there anyway!

Some old news

2011-07-20T15:21:00.001-07:00

I quit my job. During my pregnancy and leave, people would ask me if I was going to go back. I really believed I would go back part time. I shall strive to be concise here:

I have worked since I was 16. I was unfamiliar with life without a job. Sometimes when I review my employment history I feel like I'm a little Kirk from Gilmore Girls. I have worn many hats. However, I hit the jackpot in June 2009. I finally found a job where I felt interested, challenged, and I got to use some of my talents. I moved up. I got to go to trial, I had a lot of responsibility, I even got an assistant! I worked with people I respect. I had the best friends there; I miss seeing their lovely faces every day. I got office gossip by the gallon. I got free diet coke. I was close to the mall. I was up to my eyeballs in work. No, top of my scalp.

I really thought I would go back. People told me I wouldn't want to work, even part time, and it ruffled my feathers. Nobody likes other people telling them how they do or will feel. Beyond that, the people telling me this stuff had never had jobs they'd been very invested in. I felt compelled to keep a leg in that world, and if they didn't understand that, then that was OK.

Then came this little raspberry.

(Looking at this I can't believe how small he was, and his face looks NOTHING like that now!)

At one month I didn't feel ready to return to work but thought maybe by 3 months I would.

Two months was the same,

Three months...well...you guessed it. And here I am on a Wednesday afternoon at home in grubby paint clothes taking a break from working on the Master Bathroom, and waiting for Jude to wake up from his nap.

There has never been anything I've felt more drawn to than my child. I don't have an obvious resource for childcare that would be worth it financially. We are so blessed that I don't have to work. And if it wasn't imperative, I couldn't bring myself to leave Jude with someone who doesn't have such an invested interest. Also, I had to admit to myself that my job was more of an "all in or all out" thing, and working "part time" really wouldn't have been part time in the end.

So I resigned.

Here's the only visual I have of myself on the job (I was at an inspection):

2 months later I am still getting used to this. I've talked to some other moms about this and it's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels a potpourri of

- self-spun guilt for the husband having all financial responsibility on his muscly shoulders,

- laziness -- and a strange lack of motivation since besides changing and feeding J, house projects and other things are not time sensitive. I work well on deadlines, routine, and pressure.

- missing the paycheck and seeing the finished work product,

- missing my own desk with a nice view of the 405, where everything was set up just like I like it,

- missing driving to work with Jeff and those days of being in the same field,

- guilt for missing these things in the first place,

conflicted by the impossible deliciousness of your baby and getting to soak up every little gurgle and squeal.

No matter how long I've dreamed of being a mother, saying goodbye to what my job gave me hasn't been as easy as I'd imagined. I guess cake is not always for having AND eating. In choosing between a job and my child, my child is the easy winner, I just am in search of something I can do while I have Jude right next to me. Of course I kick myself for not becoming better at piano -- Elizabeth has taught lessons for years! Some days the search is very important to me and I'm very antsy. Some days that's not the way I feel. Jeff has been sweet, supportive, and encouraging. I am trying to teach myself to not be so dependent on routine and deadlines. I remind myself there will be time later for the things I miss now. I read up on what religious leaders have taught about parenthood. I hug my baby and rub my cheek against his cheek while he sleeps. And my heart is full.

5 Months: Giggle pants

2011-07-14T14:34:00.001-07:00

Happy 5 months to JUDE.

He gets more terrific by the hour. I only can't believe it's been 5 months -- the days go by so quickly!

Here's the skinny on our boy:

- He was sleeping through the night from about 3 months until about 2 weeks ago. Then he thought that was a boring and started waking up 3 or 4 times a night. I felt like I had a newborn again, except the lack of sleep from before had finally caught up with me. I could fall asleep on command. He's almost back to sleeping through the night.

- He's the most stubborn baby. During sleep re-training he cried for...a lot of hours straight. I believe in the cry-it-out method within reason, I realize it's something you just plow through for a few nights and it's better for him, better for me, but he was the energizer bunny. Not even slowing down or showing signs of exhaustion until I gave up and picked him up.

- The stubborn factor frosted over the layer of his endless kicking, bouncing (in his jumper), ffffllleeexing all his muscles, standing, and even getting up on all 4s kinda scares the crap out of me. What will he be like when he's mobile??? I can just see me now, chasing him up the aisles during church. Goodbye, heels. Or goodbye thin heels.

- He's long and not thin, but not fat. 90th percentile for "height" (length?), 50th for weight, and 30th for his head. When our pediatrician gave us these stats, The Far Side cartoon below immediately came to mind:

But of course I don't think he looks disproportional, if you think he does don't tell me. I partially think the percentile stuff is junk.

- He is much better at independent play. He has really changed from being a very fussy baby to a very happy, content one.

- He draws attention wherever I go, much like all babies do, I imagine. Outside the walls of our house, people are always stopping me to say anything and everything they want. Here are some of the gems offered by the all-knowing public:

"You're blessed."
"He's so _____ (cute synonym)!"
"How old is he?? 1 month??" And sometimes, they act like I'm lying when I tell them he's 3, 4, 5 months old. It is so bizarre.
"Are you sleeping??"
"Make sure there's air circulating in his room at night!"
"I think he's hungry." (When I just fed him and he's not fussing.)
"He's so content! Boys aren't usually like that. He won't be like that for long."
"Are you going to have any more?"
"Enjoy the 1 while it lasts!"
"Enjoy it while he's immobile!"

I'm sure everyone means well. Some of this stuff if very nice. Some of it I want to just walk away mid-sentence. Do they expect me to take their advice or pearls when I know nothing about them? In any case I would rather get attention for having a nice baby than for being 60 lbs. overweight with pregnancy lovin.

- Jude gives us huge smiles. He makes eyes at Aunt Sarah like he's going to ask her to the Prom.

- He's most ticklish on his neck, his dad is best at getting giggles out of him. When he gets going, he really gets going.

- He's already showing some personality traits I identify with. When he's getting tired he gets silly. (His cousin E is also known for this.) He also isn't flexible. While my friends' babies eat their feet all the live long day, he can't even get his near his collar bone.

- Squeaks, shrieks, squeals.

- He's a rollin.

- A few times now he starts staring off into space, chewing on his fist and talking to himself. What I wouldn't give to know what he is thinking about. Probably, "Man, milk is awesome. Just...just awesome."

He is the absolute delight. I am so grateful to have Jeff with me in this too -- it would be very isolating not having anyone else who understands the way I feel about our Jude. I'm tired, still have 20 lbs. clinging on for dear life, smell like sour milk, and am a human burp cloth, but I have never been so happy. Jeff and Jude are my greatest dreams come true. Now if he could please just not grow up and become a meth dealer.

"Eef thees ees torture, chain me to thee wall!"

Water Baby

2011-07-09T12:46:00.000-07:00

Aint no thang.

I'm Grounded

2011-07-08T21:16:00.001-07:00

Jeff's out of town for depos.

Jude didn't sleep much last night (which is another story I don't care to blog), so he was practically begging for his crib at 6.

I went downstairs and, as is my usual first item on the agenda when coming downstairs, opened the fridge.

Hmmm...nothing that said "FRIDAY" to me....

And then I realized, sleeping baby, no husband...I'm grounded.

Anyone want to bring me a diet coke and maybe a taco or two?

No? Ok fine.

So Jeff and I talked on the phone for a while, now he's lost reception on the way home, and so I started looking through old pics on the computer.

I don't think I ever noticed this snog one from our wedding during the bride and groom dance. I guess this means I shouldn't be trusted.

ComehomenowJeffpleasethankyousomuch.

Positively Pippa!

2011-07-08T00:54:00.000-07:00

Pippa Middleton Theory: The paparazzi are pleased as punch to have a Pippa. Pippa saved their day. Pippa is cute, single, and rich. BUT, most importantly, she allows the paparazzi to somehow give us our Royal Fix without making them look or feel like scum. In the 2+ months since the royal wedding, I have been presented with about 500 pictures of "Her Royal Hotness" doing all sorts of stuff. Shopping, running, flirting, etc. etc. There has been ONE picture of Kate grocery shopping. ONE. The rest of the Dutchess of Cambridge photos have been at official duty functions were cameras are allowed and expected.

I think the paparazzi look at Kate and see the Diana. Oh Princess Diana, the charitable goddess in iconic clothing whose death is commonly viewed as a product of the shutterbugs and gossip columnists. They look at Kate and see Diana's very own wedding ring, they see her on the arm of Diana's son who had to bid an unfair and untimely goodbye to his doting mother. And either the guilt or the fear of looking wretched and cruel prods them to leave her alone. Maybe Kate hasn't really been out and about. Maybe I just haven't caught the pictures (although that's unlikely. I have one baby, am a stay-at-home-mom, cruise the internet while I nurse, and use google reader). But anyway, Pippa fills this guilt-free photo target quite nicely. Closely connected to the Royals, but no whisps of Diana's ghost following Pippa and her skinny jeans around. 3 Cheers for Pippa.

P.S. I predict that the name Phillipa is about to beat out Isabella for most common girl name of 2011 and 2012.

Maybe this will just never change.

2011-06-29T19:01:00.000-07:00

When the powers that be at Costco sent out their most recent batch of coupons, one of them was for converting VHS to DVD. I tore that one right out and stuck it in my wallet.

I had a few videos I'd been meaning to turn a la DVDs for a while, and every time I saw them on my closet shelf I'd feel a twinge of concern they'd get ruined before I had actually got moving on it. VHS are so comparatively fragile now, and I don't know where I'd get a VCR to show my progeny this historical footage. The most important one was of my Fall 2003 sky dive adventure. On a serious whim, some of my besties and I went sky diving in Ogden. The extra fee for this excursion's videotape was not kind to my coed budget, but easily justified because if I was going to do this, I wanted to be able to reflect on my bravery (recklessness) as often as I saw fit. I wanted to see what my own body plunging through 13,000 feet of cloudy sky looked like. And, now that I'm a mother I can see I'd go out of my mind if J ever did this to me, but I didn't tell my parents I was going to do it, and the plan was to "tell" them by showing them the video when I went home for Thanksgiving. They just about had a hernia. I haven't watched the video since 2004, I think, and was excited to both have it reliably preserved as well as watch it again.

So a few weeks ago I shimmied into Costco with a couple of home videos, and yesterday I picked up my precious DVDs.

This morning I watched the sky dive and my skin crawled, I rolled my eyes about 30 times, and I didn't finish the video. My hair was awful -- why didn't someone tell me?? I thought I was pretty stylish back then. I didn't hold still for a minute, I was just bouncing around like a little 21 year old bunny rabbit, and my voice sounds so high pitched. It was obnoxious to watch.

Maybe it is just always awful to see yourself on camera. Maybe I'm remembering that I was really an 18 year old until I was 25. *Side note: When I was 23 I almost moved to Palo Alto, which meant I would have met law-student Jeff 3 years earlier. I ended up going on my mission instead, but Jeff always teases me that if I'd listened to the REAL spiritual promptings I would have gone to Palo Alto. I really think that as much fun as Jeff and I would have had in the Bay Area together, I was so immature before my mission, he wouldn't have liked me AT ALL. :) End side note.*

Either way, it has reminded me anew that no matter how "ok" I think my hairdo is, I need to have a stylish professional caring for it, because I no longer trust my own opinion. Man, I really thought my hair was awesome in 2003.

And this is why I like to dress sort of preppy. It's just safer. It doesn't look as horrific 8 years later.

And when I'm on camera, I need to not sound so shrill.

And I'm never, ever showing that to my posterity. I really don't care if it gives me street cred, it would be a total free pass for our kids to go do something dangerous. Eek.

The End.

P.S. to the last post and Random Pictures

2011-06-28T23:09:00.001-07:00

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!

This Sunday was actually pretty busy. After church Jeff and I both had meetings, our Home Teachers came by, and then we high tailed it to Santa Monica for a crepe fest with the Kimballs and Reynolds.

Annie has been a close friend since college, I caught her bouquet in bridesmaid attire at her wedding, and as of a year ago her husband matriculated at UCLA as a medical student. So she's close by!

Sarah has been a sister of mine since the day she was born, I caught her bouquet in bridesmaid attire at her wedding, and as of about a month ago her husband has gotten his intern on at a law firm in LA. So she's close by!

We made an afternoon and night of it. Annie is a total cuisinier, so we were stuffed at the end of dinner and could not have prevented it. After that we went on a walk on the beach about 2 inches from their apartment and saw an old man proving with his whirligig hips that you're only as old as you feel. Then we went back for more chatting and grazing on Hershey's Treasures. Between the 6 of us there are some good stories to be told and some awesome reminiscing to dip into.

It was a good night.

And in proper poaching form, here are some pictures of the recent trip to Vegas:

J and Jude having a bond

I and Jude talkin shop

Eh, a little punchy

I call this one "Families are Forever".

This Weekend, etc.

2011-06-27T09:30:00.000-07:00

Friday night: Fell asleep on the couch, Cafe Rio, fell asleep on the couch.

Saturday: Errands, errands, work for Jeffrey, laundry for me, Mom came over like a rock star and held down the fort while Jeff and I scarfed Indian food and watched Midnight in Paris.

Ok now this movie, I loved. It was just what I wanted it to be, minus Rachel McAdams' unfortunate lower abdomen placement of her belts (shame on you, costume director). Is Marion Cotilliard the most beautiful woman on the planet? Yes, she is. And is Owen Wilson a great Woody Allen that is not TOO Woody Allen? Yes, he is. I think that one might go in our DVD library when it comes out.

We have had some success in our garden this year with strawberries, tomatoes, peppers, and we have eaten 1 artichoke. Actually, Jeff ate the artichoke. I am more an artichoke "dip" girl. When my mom was pregnant with Sarah she craved canteloupe and artichokes. I'd come home from Joy School and sit at the table with my cottage cheese while she dipped artichoke leaf after artichoke leaf in a gram of mayonnaise and down the gullet. I was mystified. I have never really cared for them. Anyway, we have another artichoke but Jeff wanted to let it flower to see how it would look. Voila:

Doesn't it look a little Invasion of the Body Snatchers?

And my fresh-from-the-bath-going-shirtless-in-his-jammy-bottoms-on-a-hot-summer's-ev'n baby J. I love him.

Vegas

2011-06-18T03:25:00.000-07:00

Sarah, Cameron, Jude and I just returned from a quick trip to Vegas. After almost a decade of living in the suburban fringe of Sin City, Elizabeth and her family are moving to Utah. They'd always talked about it but I didn't think it would actually happen. Elizabeth was never much of a Vegas girl and whenever we'd drive to Utah growing up, she was the ONLY one in the family who was fervently opposed to taking a hotel-tour-breather as we passed through. Then she married Kris 2 months after 9/11 when the economy was tanked, and he was lucky to get a GREAT job right out of college in Vegas, and to Vegas they went. I figured in my infinite and delightsome wisdom that Elizabeth could perhaps glean some life lessons about not judging a city by its number of retail vendors with "Adult" in the name. (She is SO lucky to have me around.) If she hated Vegas at first she learned to love it, as most Vegans promised she would. How could she not? They have Sonic.

I loved to visit her there and have done it fairly often from the time I was 19. When I came home from my mission I lived there for about a year and loved that too! I didn't mind the heat (because I sprinted from air conditioned house to air conditioned car to air conditioned office and reverse), there was great shopping, lots of good people, etc. etc. etc., and obviously my Elizabeth, to whom I've always been close, and her darling family.

I was a little shocked they didn't ask MY opinion in all this when they prayed about it, weighed all the factors, and decided to move (HELLO!), and if they had I probably would have told them to stay put. I just get very sentimental about PLACE and I have so many memories in their home, making cookies, dancing in the kitchen, driving down the streets of Vegas pretending we were still in high school while her kids sat in their car seats behind us, watching movies and painting our nails after the kids went to bed, getting way too deep into our Eatonisms and laughing nostril-flare style at the dumbest things.

Anyway, I really did know I'd also make sacrifices for the well-being of my family, and geez, Utah isn't that much farther than Vegas, and also has a Sonic. As it is, there isn't a lot of time before this move will go down, and they had about a bazillion toys and things to pack up. Sarah and I went up and Cam stopped in on his way home from BYU for the summer. Jude played with his cousins and was basically blown over by all the ACTION in a 6-person household, and we packed and packed. The first night we stayed up until 2 a.m. laughing hysterically at the nonsensical things we always do, something we slightly regretted the next day, but it was a great farewell to a house I've loved which will very soon be rented out to who knows who.

We will luckily still have cause to go visit Vegas because Erica and her fam are still there, and we love their methods and spunk. This is just my closure to a wonderful place, the plot of land and home where I loved to be, where I have endless memories of good, bad and whatever. Farewell [address that I can't write down here because then the creepers would stalk them for the next week], may the renters not drop sledge hammers on your tile floor.

Babies J and I watching Baby Einstein allowing us to pack the endless supply of toys. P.S. Jude did a great job in the car on the way home. Glory!

4 Months

2011-06-14T23:33:00.000-07:00

Here's our little piece o' heaven. He really gets dreamier by the minute. If you want to be a Jude, you must grab everything and shove it into your mouth post-haste. You must squeal, giggle, coo, and rattle your voice around as often as you see fit. You must have a cowlick smack dab in the front and center of your hairline and another one in the back of your head. You must be kissed an average of seventeen thousand, two hundred and twenty three times a day by your mother alone. You must be tickled and squeezed by your dad ad nauseum et infinitum. Your salivary glands must work overtime, providing sufficient resources to soak through anything caught a moment under your chin. You must become giggly and silly when overtired. To be a Jude, I like to think, is a pretty good gig.

Really, I love being his mom.

Day 5: High Angle

2011-06-11T13:41:00.001-07:00

Eh, I'm doing this at an unconventional pace.

"I've been thinking a lot of thoughts...."

2011-06-06T20:28:00.000-07:00

See now, that is actually something that the Bachelorette who ended up with the guy named Roberto said with a heap of earnestness on one of the last episodes of that season. I happened to catch it while we had cable. Well my dear, I think we all think a lot of thoughts. Usually this is a good thing.

For the past few days I've been on a total shame spiral. All these misdeeds that must have caused my angel mother much consternation/aggravation/fury/anxiety/eye-rolling have been surfacing in my thoughts I've been thinking and I want to go back in time as an adult and give my smallish self a swat on the bum!

Like that time I got home from school in 2nd grade. My mom was in the white-don't-touch-anything living room, having a meeting with someone for church responsibilities. I was bored. And where was my after-school snack? I went up to the room I shared at the time with 1-year-old Cameron. He was riding the R.E.M. cycle of his afternoon nap. I saw a solution to my boredom -- perhaps if I woke up Cameron he would be happy to see me and do something cute. After the ungraceful extrication of my tank-like brother from his crib and slumber, he was a crank and my mom was -- shockingly -- mad at me for waking him up. I didn't see what the big deal was and remember thinking, "He was going to wake up eventually anyway." Bad, Merzy. Bad, bad Merzy. If I were my mom I would have withheld dessert for the next 3 years and made me clock 290 hours of backscratching. All I got was a scolding.

Or the time I spilled bronze puffy paint on the carpet by the TV cabinet as I painted it on my socks willy nilly, and then lied about it for hours. ???? and !!!!!!

I keep texting my mom apologies for these shameful memories, and she makes it worse by saying I was charming and lovable and she never could stay mad at me for long, because I was a good girl.

Let's grind some more horror into this mess, shall we?

She always wanted me to learn to sew. I did -- sort of, and on an as-needed basis. For random projects like a baby blanket for my Beehive advisor, or I'd help her hem a dress, etc. I never did it consistently enough for much to stick, and I really wasn't interested. She always told me I'd be glad to know. Ding ding ding. Once Jude started napping and sleeping 11 hours a night I allowed myself to consider exploring hobbies. Not holding a baby 19 hours a day frees you up quite a bit. I AM learning to sew, and she comes over to help me when she can spare the time, and some things I can sort of wing on my own. I am having fun experimenting, I just wish I knew more and were already better at it.

As it is, this is my concoction of the evening:

That's right, Jude, next time you spit up, you shall spit up on a burp cloth with an "H" sewn on it by your momma. Shoot!

My point is, I'm feeling really grateful for all my parents did for me. To mom and dad, sorry about putting a hole in the wall by flinging open the door to the downstairs bathroom after you told me not to.

Day 4: Something Green

2011-06-06T15:23:00.000-07:00

Day 1: Self-Portrait

2011-06-02T20:06:00.001-07:00

P.S. I'm doing the 30 Day Photography Challenge. It'll push me to snap shots of something besides my wee bairn.

Jude and I'd just woken up from our nap; my lazy eye is in full swing. It was my first time using the self-timer. It does make it a lot crisper!

While Standing in the Post Office line by a 5-ish-year-old and her Mom

2011-06-02T19:51:00.001-07:00

Girl: Oh look! A baby!
Me: [Smile]
Mom: Haha, she's more baby hungry than I am.
Girl: Let me see him better!
Me: [I turn him toward her]
Girl: Can I hug him??
Me: Well, he's all strapped in this thing [the Bjorn] and sleeping, so....
Girl: Well that doesn't mean I can't hug him! [She hugs his legs. Mother leaves the line to buy stamps from a kiosk.]
Who does he look like??
Me: His Dad.
Girl: What does his Dad look like?
Me: Like him, but older.
Girl: What's the baby going to look like when he's grown up?
Me: I don't know, but probably his Dad.
Girl: What about when he's 10?
Me: Who knows? We'll just have to see.
Girl: 9?
Me: I don't know.
Girl: 8??
Me: No clue.
Girl: 7???
Me: Not sure.
Girl: 6???
Me: It's anybody's guess.
Girl: 5???
Me: Don't know yet.
Girl: 4??
Me: What do you think?
Girl: 3?????
Me: Who can tell????
Mom: Mia, what are you doing??
Girl: 2????
Me: Beats me!
Girl: 1???
Mom: Mia, come over here please.
Girl: [Spots my friend Lisa who's at the counter mailing a package and Lisa's baby in the stroller,] Look! Another baby!!!! [She runs over]..............................

The Best Memorial Day I've Ever Had

2011-05-31T21:01:00.000-07:00

It really was!

I loved Jeff not going to work in the morning,

I loved putting the American flag we got from Bruce and Carolyn Cameron for our wedding to good use and letting it say hello to all passersby,

I loved going to Target by myself while Jeff put Jude down,

I loved getting a beach umbrella and "healthy" snacks,

I loved getting a Diet Coke with Vanilla and Cream (and a Cherry Limeade for Jeff) at Sonic right after Target,

I loved packing up my car with all the accouterments to keep my baby and his satin skin happy and protected,

I loved scooting over to Laguna with my boys and getting a good parking spot,

I loved giving Jude his first taste of the sand (loved it) and sea water (unimpressed),

I loved relaxing under the umbrella and unknowingly crisping my shins and tops of my feet,

I loved spending time with great friends at the beach,

I loved getting lunch with these great friends at La Sirena afterwards,

I loved changing Jude's biggest ever blow-out diaper in my car in the parking lot at La Sirena Grill and the mess that ensued (if I'm ever worried Jude's not "regular" I just need to leave the house),

I loved getting home in one piece and putting Jude down for a nap,

I loved getting treats and watching a movie on Apple TV with Jeff,

I loved it all.

I'll remember it as the best Memorial Day of all time.

Sorry your handsome face got half cut out, honey.

Some things about the author of this blog:

2011-05-29T20:29:00.000-07:00

- I might have to start running again.

- My sister Sarah told me motherhood has made me "softer". Hmmm.

- That wonderful near-year of the "Your Girth and Emotions are Great with Pregnancy and Postpartums, but Thou Shalt Not Lose a Hair From Thy Head" is over. Dumb hair falling out left and right.

- Aforementioned hair grew many inches during aforementioned hair retention period. I have only trimmed my hair since I started really dating Jeff, because I knew he liked it long. But now it's getting Wicked Witch of the Ladera Ranch long, and I'm hankering to have a skilled professional take some sharp scissors to it. What will I do? I haven't a clue. Part of me wants to go Halle Barry. Part of me wants bangs again. Part of me wants to only trim it; my mom had long hair with a middle part when she was a young mother, and it makes me feel good to parallel hairstyles with phases of life with such a lady.

We'll see. My bangs are in that awful in-between period. Blech.

- I sliced my middle and pointer fingers while chopping an onion on Friday. 20 minutes later I slammed those same fingers in the side door. ??? Jeff examined them both times and after the second injury he said something in French. It was something along the lines of "Be careful and slow down, my dear."

- Goin to the beach tomorrow! Woot wooooooooot!

With Mimi and Gpa

2011-05-29T20:22:00.000-07:00

Sorry, a lot of blurry. He's a mover and a shaker.

Asterisk Points

2011-05-23T21:55:00.000-07:00

* We watched Megamind a couple of weeks ago; I was laughing the whole time. Elizabeth told me it was funny but I underestimated it.

* I've been something of a law widow lately.

* I lost my writing mojo.

* Do they really have to wait until the new year to give us the second season of Downton Abbey???

* I have been reading baby books because my other book is Mockingjay and I am just not getting into it. Maybe it's because I already know how it ends. I read about it on Wikipedia. Eek! I do this from time to time because I become scared I'll invest time and emotion into reading something and hate the ending and have to mourn it for a few days, so I read epilogues or find out the ending halfway through.

* We keep buying carseat toys for Jude in hopes of converting the act of leaving the house from a terrorizing experience into a blissful (or just tolerable?!) one. They are ugly but they're all that are available. They don't work. Maybe it's because they're ugly.

* My mom came over on Friday afternoon to start teaching me how to sew. It was a blast. She also had an epiphany about our mantle and now it looks like this:

I'm digging it. The clock in the middle was a gift from Jeff ("and Jude") for Mother's Day. Love it.

* I'm typing up this blog post on my 2005 Mac iBook G4. What a crazy miracle. This thing is so slow, so haggard, so weighed down with memory overload and gunk. It sometimes decides not to work. The battery will last for oh, 2/3 of a minute if it's not plugged in. I need to clean it up and move the pictures and my music over to the good computer before this thing bites the dust for good.

* I kiss my baby approximately 2,384 times a day. His cheeks are heaven.

* Achoo!

* And a non-iPhone picture in parting:

FAMILYAMILYAMILY

2011-05-14T17:20:00.000-07:00

We had lots of fresh and friendly family so generously visit for Jude's blessing. It was such a thrill to have everyone together. Allow me to pinch pictures from others' bits of internet:

We met Uncle Cameron and Aunt Sarah at South Coast Plaza (Uncle Harry was writing some legal gobbledee gook paper at home), and love instantly abounded.

Almost nothing bad can happen at 3333 Bristol Ave.

P.S. I'd gone to Costco before South Coast and realized I'd forgotten my phone and had no way of coordinating the meeting place with my mom and siblings (even though I knew it would probably be by See's). HOW did we ever get along without cell phones??? I was so close to Jeff's office I just booked it over there with screaming, dirty diapered baby and hauled him up there and in my sweaty, frazzled, chubby Mom glory I walked into his office, shut the door, my 20 lb. diaper bag slid off my shoulder and thunked on the floor, Jeff goes, "Hey, I've been texting you." "Yeah, I need to borrow your phone."

And we did decide to meet at See's.

The whole fam-damily -- THANK YOU ALL for coming.

Someone to carry on this branch of Hayes.

Aaaaand let's not forget to play with the iPad. I love how nephew M is drooling for his turn.

It was a great weekend, and Jude feels the love.

3 Months: A Different Babe

2011-05-14T16:55:00.000-07:00

Something weird happened on Monday when Jude hit 12 weeks. I swear, he turned into a different wee babe. He seems to want to take naps, in his CRIB of all places, will independently sit watching Baby Einstein or the dangling toys for longer than 5 minutes, will chill in his car seat if it's right after he's eaten, or if it's in the stroller (which I thought we'd wasted our money on since he'd only brook the Bjorn), and is basically much more predictable. SCORE.

Jude is our Numba One because he:

* gives us huge smiles,
* coos non-stop like he's really determined to contribute to the conversation,
* arranges his hands in the sweetest little configurations when he's sleeping,
* is always trying to sit up when we put him on his back (he crunches his tummy muscles like he's doing a pansy sit-up and lifts his legs which is hilarious),
* the top of his head smells so delicious,
* loves crew necks and stripes as much as his mom and wears them practically all the time,
* has chub,
* has grown out of size 1 diapers so now we can get them at Costco and save some bucks,
* loves his bath,
* has this hilarious "the jury's still out" look he gets on his face, like he's reeeeeeeally considering his opinion on whatever topics babies have opinions (see below),

* and we're obviously so unabashedly obsessed with him. This is the quintessential baby blog now, no going back.

Mother

2011-05-09T10:52:00.000-07:00

Somehow, I kept forgetting that I got myself a Mother's Day this year. Jeff reminded me over and over with many acts of spoiling and love. Jude was a doll at church and after I fed him in the Mother's Lounge during Sacrament Meeting, he slept through Sunday School and Relief Society. Cha-Ching!

Then, on this day that celebrates those who expend blood, sweat, and tears for their small ones, I got to take part in some of the sweat and tears with NAP TRAINING, PART II. At 6 weeks I was thrilled to borrow this book from my friend Katie that told me not to sleep train colicky babies. DONE. Now that his colic seems to be pretty much gone, I know I've got to get to work. Lucky duck me, Jude sleeps through the night, maybe waking once every other night (which is fine with me since I'd grown to love our groggy midnight snacks together). However, daytime is a completely different story. He won't nap unless I'm holding him, and even when he's riding the REM cycle, when I put him down in his crib, he'll wake up 5 to 10 minutes later. What a snuggle junkie. And I, the weakling, can't stand to hear him cry, and I oblige him with a nap in my arms 4 or 5 times a day.

What does this mean for me?

The couch. Frustration. Maybe this seems trivial to some, and believe me, I am over the moon that I have a sweet, smiley, healthy baby that has brought so many unparalleled wonderfuls into our home, but this is a horrible MO born of his colic. The reason it's still going on is because I know that while colic broke my heart, getting him to be able to nap like a normal baby would also be heartbreaking. But, I have been a bump on a log the last 3 months, unable to do a thing but hold him. At some point, normal life must resume.

We started yesterday afternoon and he screamed and screamed. My mother and mother-in-law have given me buckets of encouragement and reminded me that it will be harder on me than him. Jeff went in to comfort him after a while and ran his finger from his brow to the tip of his nose (his favorite) until he started to drift off. It was a start. I went in to check on him later and he was still calming himself down. So sad.

So today we continue on. I know it's not like he's addicted to heroine or has decided that Reba McIntyre is his life hero, but even the promise of someday soon being able to do something crazy like refinish the dressers that have been sitting in our garage for 7 months does not make this easy on my Merzy Mom heart.

IN BRIGHTER MOTHER'S DAY NEWS:

Jeff and I are blessed with Mary Poppins Mothers who know everything, can do anything, and that includes always saying the right thing at the right time, and knowing how to spin sunshine on gloomy situations and magnify the cheerful days. Jude hit the jackpot with 2 grandmothers and a great-grandmother of love and vigor and vim.

I'm grateful for them, and I'm grateful to be a a mother to the the Jude of the world. This new phase of life has made me even more grateful for my Jeff, who makes everything, and I do mean everything, better.

Fashion Police

2011-05-02T12:21:00.001-07:00

A Blessing outfit for a boy who never stops kicking his chubby legs.

Blessing Day

2011-05-01T19:48:00.000-07:00

Jude was blessed by his dad today. It was wonderful.

The End.

Eastereastereaster!

2011-04-28T09:35:00.001-07:00

These people, the Jexies, came to visit.

I don't know how people keep track of 2 kids, let alone 4. But they do in fact keep track of them and we all had a grand old time.

I loved Jude getting more time with his cousin, Baby I, born 10 days before him.

About to leave for target. Have I mentioned my son hates the carseat? Oh, I have? 50 times? Well here is the unimpeachable proof. Jude's car beef is working wonders on our gas bill. I don't go anywhere unless it's absolutely necessary, because his automotive meltdowns are going to drive me to drink. I laugh at this picture because Baby I is like, "Don't ask me, I don't know what all the fuss is about."

We went to an Easter egg hunt put on by a friend in my ward. While the adults were hiding the eggs, many of them in very conspicuous places, the clueless toddlers couldn't help themselves and started picking up some eggs. My older nephew was incensed. "Aunt merzy. They. Are. Picking. Up. EGGS!!!!" He's a little Nazi. :)

Baby I is so sweet and mellow.

I am trying to be supportive here because Niece S is actually great with babies, loves them to death and is Baby I's biggest fan, but I am just a little paranoid. It was really cute to see her take initiaive with the wee ones, though, soothing them with her eggy little voice, bouncing them if they fuss when her legs barely are long enough to get off the couch, and her expert knowledge of when they need a binkie. I love all my little lambs.

Happy (late) Easter one and all! Next time Jude will be walking. Yipeee and yikes!

P.S. Like, 50 times a day, I have to suppress the urge to text, email, call everyone I know and yell, "I LOVE MY BABY!!!!!!!!" You know when you look at your baby and just want to do a cartwheel? We love him.

Happy Easter

2011-04-24T15:18:00.000-07:00

He may need therapy later for his mother putting him in pink ears, but for now it's dang cute.

After much searching we found a "lovey" for him. Lovey Monkey. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Looks good

2011-04-21T22:31:00.001-07:00

Really digging most of the casting for the movie that they're squirreling out of this book. I can't wait.

-- Post From My iPhone

No words

2011-04-18T22:07:00.001-07:00

2 Months: Gettin Fresh

2011-04-15T17:32:00.001-07:00

Yesterday we celebrated 2 months of livelihood with Jude. Wildman Jude. This one does not keep still. He kick kick kicks, waves his arms, and looks around constantly, is pretty good at holding his head up (a Hayes thing), and is already wearing 18 month onesies! Nevermind on the last one, I misread the tag. His penchant for drooling he got from moi; he leaves a wet puddle behind after his naps.

He's sleeping a 5 hour stretch at night now (knock on that wood!), the colic is getting a little better (knock harder!!!), and he gives smiles away like candy (to me and Jeff and sometimes Lisa). The smiles are like shots of a chocolate/paxil elixir sent straight through an IV to my mommyhead system. Loves his bath and loves his dad.

We left him for the first time last Friday to attend a wedding reception. Mimi and Grandpa loved it. I packed the diaper bag a la brim so he'd be covered if a meteor hit the backyard. He did OK. My arms felt strangely loose the whole time.

He really holds onto those many burps.

Lisa and I put Jude and Lyla next to each other on the couch and the saucy lass instantly turned toward him, claiming the opportunity to make her intentions known. Blurry camera because we could not stop laughing.

He is the most charming addiction. I can't wait for more.

Meeting Loads of Fam and Hangin with the Ladies

2011-04-06T22:10:00.000-07:00

First of all:
2 of my dear friends, Lisa and Lindsey, had babies 2 and 3 weeks after I did. Both sweet girls. We get together and put our babies in a clump. Hmm, can you guess which baby is the ticking time bomb of the clump? I must be his mother because I think he's cute even when he's screaming.

Second of all:
We sped our booties to Vegas last weekend so Jude could meet his grandparents, his Reynolds cousins, and his Jex cousins. I never gave much thought to how fun it would be to watch my son be so loved and adored by his extended family, but believe me, it warmed my heart to a boiling puddle. He didn't have a second without someone cooing over him, and we watched Conference and played at the park and talked and the kids played Angry Birds. So fun.

Love

Love Love

Love Love Love

High School Musical came on tv.

Love Love Love Love

Love Love Love Love Love

Third of all:
We got back Sunday night after 8 hours in the car. Geez, this roadtrip was all shades of horrible. On the way there we made good time, but J hates the carseat. HATES IT. He screamed for 2 hours straight. I didn't know he had it in him. We fed him bottles as we drove, too, so he was not hungry. He just hates that piece of Britax like a Rihanna song. Then we got there and he slept for 5 hours straight, totally wiped out.

The way home was worse. He did end up sleeping for a while in the car, but traffic was awful, and when we would come to a stop Juju would wake up and commence to scream the scream. I was so happy that the agricultural inspection could slow us down for miles and wake up my poor baby all so they could wave us through. Does anyone else turn into a sweaty, heart racing mess when your baby is screaming and you know you can't do anything for him because you're in a traffic jam on the I-15? Buh. I don't want to do that again until he's old enough to take Benadryl. There are a few other unsavory anecdotes but I'll spare the internet and you.

Fourth of all:

McOmber cousins were in San Diego on Monday and I hauled me and baby to see them! This time when I started buckling my baby in Jude was like, "Oh, this thing again? Whatever. Goodnight." He slept pretty much the whole way there. Relief! I don't have any pictures (alas!), but my dear cousins, aunt, and uncle and I lazed about in a beautiful villa and chatted. In the order of families sticking together through thick and thin, we all shared in the experience of J's first blow-out diaper. I do mean blow-out. Margaret even rinsed his onesie and put it in a ziplock for me. That's love.

And now Jude has gone from meeting 0 members of his extended family to meeting about 30. I love it. We are so very lucky to have each other.

P.S. When I'm standing up now, even when I'm not holding J, I sway from left to right, left to right.

And 2 pictures in parting: My favorite things. His big blues and the lips that ate Texas.

Law Widow Resources

2011-03-31T21:42:00.000-07:00

When I'm a Law Widow at night, I

1. Watch an episode of this for the millionth time (a period piece, a great media trial for Jeff to endure),

2. Watch THIS for the millionth time (a SNL sketch that creeps Jeff out but always makes me laugh my head off). You'll have to watch it on Sarah's blog because it wasn't embedding on mine.

And a picture in parting:

First Family Pic

2011-03-28T13:00:00.000-07:00

Stream of Merzy Brain

2011-03-24T13:01:00.000-07:00

- We took a break from Mad Men but we're back on Season 3. I enjoy it more now. This is because I saw Jon Hamm on 30 Rock and SNL being a completely awkward noodle, and so Don Draper doesn't seem quite so horrid (in that confusing lovable way). I originally wanted to watch it because my Grandpa Eaton, who I died when I was a baby, was an Ad Man Executive in Chicago back in them days. My dad always speaks so well of him and I wish I could have known him. I thought this show would be an interesting insight into his career and life. Eh, I love the Hitchcockian visuality to it, and it is interesting to see how much business methods have changed, but the dominating thought in my head as I watch that show is "Dysfunction!" and "Someone throw that impossibly handsome man into rehab, please!"

- It's amazing how many Cadbury Mini Eggs one person (moi) can eat while up with a baby nursing in the middle of the night. Just amaaaaaazing.

- When I was in the latter days of pregnancy, I would lie on the couch and think of what I needed to do. Chores, errands, etc. I either wouldn't do them or it would require a spell of silent pep talking to get up. Or it would just happen when my back hurt too much from lying too long in one position. Now, as soon as J is fed or down for a nap, it's like I hear the pistol fire and I'm racing around the house, scooping up this and that and throwing it in the dishwasher (!!), folding blankets strewn about the couches (!!!), taking a shower (!!!!), combing my hair (!!!!!), putting him in the carseat before he has a chance to realize what I, the meanest mom ever, am doing to him, (!!!!!!) and get all I can done at basically an all out sprint. Then it's time for the little lamb to eat once again, or he's screaming because I'm not holding him. It's never been nicer to have a clean house because while I am sitting on the couch nursing, you have way too much time to just evalutate your surroundings. This reminds me, I have spied with my little eye a couple of cobweb strings in random corners of the ceiling which must be dealt with when Jeffman is home.

- Chris Brown. Not only does he sing the most thought provoking lyrics of all time, ("you mean to me what I mean to you") but he has this really smooth way of throwing all out tantrums of when questioned about tantrum he threw on his ex-girlfriend. I hear ya, Chris. Sometimes the only way to show everyone how far you've moved past the tantrums is to throw another one. Makes sense.

- And a picture in parting (from last week):

Jeff's Mini Me

2011-03-16T23:30:00.000-07:00

Even the hairline.

Yep.

But he did get my mouth and chin.

1 Month!

2011-03-14T08:51:00.000-07:00

My baby is 1 month. That sentence bring a knee-jerk reaction of the statement, "NO WAY!"

Here's what I think so far (this might not be interesting to anyone but me and Jeff):

We have ourselves some good days and some bad days. The good days are just so good. The bad usually stems from the fact that he's a wee bit colicky. Every evening he'll start screaming over his under developed digestive system and we find a way to work it out, almost always in the form of finding just that right way to hold him with just the right amount of pressure on his tummy. Throw in a binkie and some pacing (usually around the island counter in our kitchen), and he works through it. It is a bummer of major proportions that he has to struggle with his digestives but I sally forth with the hope that it all starts functioning more properly soon. I know by 3 months they usually have it sorted out. He also hates the car seat but to that I said SORRY because he needs to get over it and has already begun to. He also doesn't like to be put down. Ever. I've ruined him already. Oops.

Nights and nursing are MUCH BETTER now. Let's think of how to create the perfect storm. Hmm... Oh! I've got it! Let's take long hours of dark winter night, a crying baby who doesn't want to sleep unless he's being held and otherwise must eat 17 snacks an hour, a delirious mom with sore girls...ding ding ding! The only good thing about it was my awesome glider. Then I started going downstairs to watch Friday Night Lights so at least Tim Riggins would keep me company and I'd stop falling asleep. I thought it would just be like this until he was old enough to sleep train, but he's figured things out largely on his own. Now he goes down at 10 or 11, and wakes up at 2 and 5. As long as he goes back to sleep right after eating, which he usually does, I feel completely rested. When he doesn't, hmph. Que sera, sera. Also, I no longer have to count to 60 with gritted teeth when I'm feeding him. Can I get a what what?

I lost 30 lbs in 2 weeks, which would be way more awesome if it weren't for the fact that I gained almost 60. I'm currently sporting my fat jeans and the metal tangs of the zipper are hanging on for dear life (as our friend Jerry would say). I've started running a couple of miles every day and we almost always go on a morning walk, as it's the route to Jude taking a morning nap. All in all, the recovery has gone very well and I'm grateful.

His first word was "Sarkozy". I joke. He has 2 cries so far. The first is sort of like a cute holler (hollah) that isn't really sad or anything, it's like a protest and a warning, but his face is completely content so it's sort of adorable to me. The second is the one that demands attention and action.

When he's awake and alert, looking around the room, staring at me with a pleased expression like he's trying to smile, gurgling and squeaking, I find myself squealing with delight and practically clicking my heels. He is a major snuggler and we love to watch him sleep with his hands in cute little displays. So much fun.

I feel like I belong with him and in this job. The feeling of, "I'll take care of him, leave it to me!" was the first one I identified when they put him on my chest that night at Hoag. He is my little pledge that I adore through and through. Our home is so full of love right now it's disgusting. We are stoked on our Jude.

Jude and his Mimi

2011-03-12T21:33:00.000-08:00

My mom took a half day at work on Friday and hung out with us. (And maybe she cooked us dinner, and helped spiff and brainstorm a project that epiphanized into my brain yesterday morning, which I may disclose in the near future). It was heaven.

Enough about the baby,

2011-03-04T09:22:00.000-08:00

What about ME?!?!?!!

Just kidding, this post will be mostly about Jude, or all 3 of us, because I am a new obsessed Mom, and because just LOOK AT HIM!!!

We're doing well over here, a nice, hearty stew of snuggles, postpartums, 30 Rock (I blew through Friday Night Lights way too fast), visitors, food for me that won't irritate Jude, slowly starting to emerge from the house for things like walks or quick grocery runs, back aches from hunching over nursing all day, having a guessing game every evening of how much Jude (and therefore I) will sleep, diaper changes that are not as painful as I'd anticipated, and growth spurts. My recovery is going pretty well, the #1 item I can't live without is Lanolin, and I'm really excited about the Robeez booties we just got, because he kicks off his socks in about 4 seconds and I cannot abide a baby with cold feet. I of course sing him his very own Beatles song, especially in the rare moments when I can't hold him. I know I could put him down more than I do but I don't really want to and figure I might as well take advantage of the 1 on 1 our other kids unfortunately won't have.

Every day we Rookies learn something new, every day he charms me to small, tiny bits, and every day I thank Heavenly Father for my 2 boys that fill me to my toes with sequin encrusted love.

A Few Pics

2011-02-25T20:13:00.000-08:00

Helping with the crushing rhetoric: Jude's first brief

Always a hand on the side of his face when sleeping or eating. Way too sweet.

His Ebenezer Scrooge Nightcap.

Checking his nose temperature. The love Jeff has for his little boy turns me into a puddle of swooning every day.

Look at those infant Vans. So hilarious.

People are saying he is all Hayes except he has my mouth. I agree. I just can't get enough.

A Birth Story

2011-02-22T15:59:00.000-08:00

Pop! It was felt but not heard.

I'll back up 30something hours.

I'd had so much pre-labor for the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy, by the time real-deal contractions started late Saturday afternoon, I was purposely ignoring any and all symptoms. They always came to "close but no cigar". After a while I recognized that these contractions were continually coming and decided to risk disappointment to time them. For a few hours they were 3-5 minutes apart, but not very painful. I would say more "uncomfortable". Still, never having birthed a human before, I didn't know what to do or what these regular contractions meant. I called my doctor's office and the doctor on call told me I'd better come in.

Jeff and I flipped -- TO THE HOSPITAL!

Two hours later, we were back at home. The contractions weren't strong enough to dilate me much. I was so mad I made cinnamon rolls.

We continued tracking the dumb contractions over the next day. I was going to go to church but my parents said, "What?? Do you want your water to break while you lead the Sacrament hymn??" Point taken.

The contractions were definitely getting worse as the day went on, but after Saturday night's fruitless hospital party, I was not going to be sent home twice. I was waiting for something fool proof. Good thing that at about 10:30, in the middle of watching The Blind Side, POP! went my water!

Then we really flipped. I was relieved that this was clear cut, we WERE going to have that baby, and we hopped in the car again with stacks of towels. I texted to family, "My water broke; here we go!" My little brother texted back a line from Home Alone, "This is it, don't get scared now." It cracked me up. That was the last time I laughed or smiled for a while -- by the time we were on Crown Valley Parkway the contractions had KICKED INTO HIGH GEAR. Jeff took the toll road, and since there was no traffic on a Sunday night, we made it to the hospital in about 15 minutes. Whenever we would come up behind a slow car on Newport Blvd, a street with a light every 4 feet, I was yelling, "GOAROUNDGOAROUNDGOAROUND!!!"

We got to the valet at the front of the hospital since the contractions were murdering me. Wouldn't you know it, there was NOBODY at the valet desk. We ditched the car and Jeff helped me hobble inside at a quick pace. (He later went back and gave the keys to the Valet.)

We got to labor and delivery and at the nurse's station Jeff explained what was going on. I was able to squeak out, "Can I officially request my epidural NOW?" The nurses chuckled, "No sweetie, we have to check you first and get your labs. Now are you sure your water broke?" Flames, flames on the side of my head, heaving breaths....

So after I was able to convince them that my water had ruptured, and they found me to be dilated to a 4, they sent off blood work to the lab so I could get my much requested epidural. So began the worst hour+ of my life. The contractions were pulling my body in 50 different directions, and there was nothing I could really do to alleviate them. I was having "labor shakes", throwing up, I had a 30 second break in between contractions, I was sobbing, begging Jeff for a tranquilizer, basically the hottest of all the messes. So much for my dignity and composure. I think I was 30 times worse than any overly dramatizing actress in any made for tv movie. But do you know what? It hurt that bad.

After a little bit of heckling from my main stud man Jeff, my fantastic nurse went to go get the lab results herself in the name of speed. I was dilated to a 7 when Dr. Leighton Smith, Anesthesiologist EXTRAORDINAIRE, most blessed man, came breezing through the door. I let out a "THANK GOODNESS!" He said, "You must be in labor!" He gave his disclaimer spiel and I said, "Sounds great, shoot me up!" Even though I was in the middle of a contraction and shaking, he plugged me in and 2 contractions later, I was 3 sheets to the wind, lovin life, and high as a kite. Could not feel a thing.

About 20 minutes after the epidural of epidurals, baby's heart rate was dropping. As the nurse went about trying to see why, she suddenly gasped, "Oh! It's because you're fully dilated and he's right there ready to come!" OK!

They had us rest for about an hour (since anyone within 2 miles of my room would have known I'd blown out all my energy). I knew that unless the baby took until the next morning to come, I would not be seeing my OBGYN for the delivery. But the on-call Dr. Howe came in, and we immediately felt great about her. She took charge, was very personable, all flags forward.

I'd always thought that pushing sounded like the most evil part of labor. Because of the epidural, it didn't hurt, it was just odd to push a muscle you can't feel. I started pushing at 3:05 a.m.. After what only seemed like 10 minutes (it was really 50), more people came into the room and things started happening very fast. They were detaching the end of my bed, moving things here and there, getting into position, plugging things in, putting on caps, it felt like an Indy 500 team changing tires. I could tell by the sudden jaw drop on Jeff's face that we were close, and then suddenly there was a blanket on my chest and...

Jude.

I couldn't stop saying, "Oh my gosh!" Jeff and I kept looking at each other with the truest expression of "WHOAH!" He was here! Love, love, love. There wasn't anything to compare.

And ever since then he's been the sweetest one. My heart regularly swells looking at him, but the swell stays a while. I love my little family in a way that I could never really describe.

Le Fin

5 Days of Jude

2011-02-19T08:37:00.000-08:00

I keep trying to write the birth story while I sit in the glider with my baby all hours of the night, but it doesn't come out very clearly and a few sentences after starting, the next thing I know, I jolt awake to find my arm still crooked around Jude in the boppy, he's just eating away, and my wrists are still completely elevated typing on my iPhone, except I have made 3 rows of "XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX". I will wait for a time when Jude's asleep and I can bear to put him down. And I'm sort of impressed that I'm not only capable of sleep talking, but sleep blogging. Put that on my resume.

Here is what Jude has clued us into so far:

- He keeps one hand on his ear or side of his face when he's eating or sleeping, which I love.

- He doesn't like a dirty diaper, but he doesn't like swapping it out for a clean one, either. He's made his sentiments known by first, screaming his head off during a diaper change, and second, letting his geyser go a few times on us. We have a sort of delayed reaction to this.

- He loves music, in fact, I am giving the credit for last night's 3.5 hour stretch of sleep (a record!) to the music session he had with Jeff last night just before bed. Jeff gave him a good sampling of Hayes family favorites, sang along, and Jude just stared at him the whole time, loving it.

- He has big, blue eyes.

- His dark hair is turning light -- a testament to the power of positive thinking! Come on, baby, let's just finish the job and be a toehead!

- His every squeak, gurgle, facial twitch, snuggling him, burping him, looking at that sweet face, so dependent on us, so clean, oh it's all so marvelous. I knew he'd be cute, I knew we'd love him, but I just didn't know it would be like this. Magic.

P.S. My baby hibernation show of choice is Friday Night Lights. To everyone who told me to watch it, you are RIGHT! It's great. And I want to move to Texas now. ???

P.P.S. My mom was helping me this week, and we squeezed in some period piece movies, and when Downton Abbey arrives via Netflix, I just might do a postpartum cartwheel!

Hey, Jude: First Bath

2011-02-16T22:22:00.001-08:00

Baby's first bath started out okay...

But it ended like this...
Hopefully, Jude doesn't feel this way about bathing when he becomes a teenager.

Once Jude dried out, he enjoyed a relaxing post-bath nap, sporting the new Mo-Hawk the cockney-speaking nurse gave him.

Hey, Jude: Labor and Delivery

2011-02-14T23:18:00.001-08:00

The nurses and the doctor-on-call at "Hoag Memorial Hospital Presbyterian" who delivered our little baby did a great job. Those Presbyterians sure know a thing or two about child birth--even though Dr. Howe (right) could not be much older than Doogie Howser.

Just moments after his birth, Jude weighed 7 pounds, 15 ounces. I'm sure you will notice his broad chest and well-developed upper arm muscles.

When Jude first emerged from the womb, his skin was as white as a sheet. But within seconds he turned a bright pink, kind of like a lobster does in warm water. He cried a little at first, but is now content to eat and sleep.
Everyone is happy. There are more pictures to post, but the camera battery died during import and needs to recharge, so this will have to do for now.

I also took a great picture of the placenta, but I'm not allowed to post that here, according to Merzy. If you want to see that picture, I would be happy to arrange a private showing upon request.

2011-02-10T23:30:00.001-08:00

Praises be, for the end cometh!

I've been keeping up with my favorite thing of reading birth stories and looking at newborn pictures on blogs, so to my friend's who've supplied such things on their blogs, THANK YOU. 10 gold stars for each of you.

My sister had her baby boy last Friday -- he is pushing the limits on cute, and the only time I've hated being so close to birthin time is during moments when we're on the phone. If Baby Hayes weren't coming any time I would have leapt into my car and scooted over to Vegas to hear that little lamb bleat in person. One thing I love about this baby is he's reminded me anew that when a sibling is born, it's a big change for the whole family, not just the parents. Case in point: The Former Baby of the Fam

Besides baby watch, life has been pretty quiet, probably because we have turned almost everything into a something that revolves around baby watch. Hmmmm. We operate on Apple TV now. We love it, the only complaint I have is that the remote is so microscopic. 2 words: Couch Cushions.

That was a lie, I have 2 complaints. The other complaint is I am actually interested in watching The Bachelor this season because it's like the thing I can't get away from! My parents are even watching it and text commentary. Apple TV is not cooperating with that. But today a solution was affixed (it's called going over to a friend's house) -- so I guess that complaint is knocked out.

GoodNIGHT!

Put it on your queue.

2011-02-07T22:10:00.000-08:00

My friend Sarah recommended the movie Flipped.

So Netflix sent it over and we watched it Saturday night.

We both loved it.

So now I join my voice with Sarah's and say to you, hurry up and watch it.

This week

2011-02-07T08:45:00.000-08:00

my goal is to not be the most grumpy person on the face of the planet. I feel like my body is decomposing, blah blah blah, we want to meet him, and I feel sure that he WANTS to come, he just won't. However, amidst my many pre-labor treats, when one kicks into high gear, I all of a sudden think, "Oh no! I should have thrown ____ into the laundry, now there's no time!" Then I'm back to realizing I'm not in labor, and the cycle starts anew.

This goal will be much more easily accomplished if, by the end of this week, I'm also not pregnant.

Going to go walk my bootie off.....

The Big D

2011-02-01T08:10:00.001-08:00

Last Wednesday night some of our favorites descended. Erica and her brood had a fever, and the only prescription, was Disneyland, CA Adventure, and Hotel Ladera Land. I am so glad.

They're hilarious and sweet. J gave me a hug just because he was so happy with my choice of Orange Juice (Tropicana 50 -- he clearly has been taught 50% fewer calories is better than 0% fewer calories). The girls, per usual, asked for any opportunity to help around the house. They all made me feel like a million bucks when they'd ask to be my partner on a ride. And while the older kids and adult(s) went on the rides that are not recommended for "Expectant Mothers," I had a little pal (who did not yet meet the height requirement) to hang out with me and go on the carousel or play Angry Birds. I got QT with ALL of them! Yes, members of the Hayes and Reynolds families and beyond, I know you're jealous, and I'm going to rub it in good with some adorable pictures!

I just hope they were having fun. Sometimes I wondered. :)

Disneyland improves 50 times over with kids in tow.

One of the Disneyland employees told me I should name the baby Mickey or Donald or Walt. Jeff and I chuckled politely, and then realized she was totally dead serious. And I swear Jeff and I didn't match on purpose.

Just imagine the possibilities when an arrow is carefully deposited into the Wheat Thins!

My non-roller coaster riding companion with a bed head to be proud of. Erica tells me he has the same hair as Jeff at that age -- crossing my fingers way too hard for the blonde gene to dominate!

That lovely song from White Christmas comes into my head when I look at this picture.

Thanks for coming, my dears! The door to Chez Hayes is always open.

And I'm still pregnant. How does that work?

Happy Birthday, Boo!

2011-01-30T09:59:00.000-08:00

The Ladies' Man

Happy bday to my favorite husband. You make 32 look good!

Love, love, love you.

It's Pouring

2011-01-26T08:29:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday I had myself a showering! My friends Anne, Chrissy, and Gaylene charmed and amazed.

It was, in every particular, a perfect morning. I got to see perfect friends, eat perfectly prepared food in a perfectly decorated house, and squeal over the perfectly cute factor in everything I opened. Very generous, and very sweet. Our baby is feeling the love, and so are me and Jeff.

That looks so good right now...do I have the energy to go to the store and get croissants? Eh, probably not.

For me?? Do you know how hard it is to open outfits as cute as the ones I got and not have the baby there to immediately put him in them and give him a squeeze?

I got to see some friends from my Huntington Singles Ward -- 3 of us are due the same week!

Thanks, Gaylene, Chrissy, and Anne -- you're the bomb diggety.