All things considered, I LOVE having 2! I love having a baby in the house. I love saying "the kids" or "the boys." I love watching Graham morph before my very eyes, even though any sign that he'd ever stop being a newborn is a little sad too. I love it now that Jude has stopped acting like an insecure boyfriend (think Dean on Gilmore Girls Season 2. "Where are you going?? To the bathroom? Can I come? What are you looking at?? Why aren't you looking at me? Why are you walking over to the stove?? Can I come?? Why is Mimi/Dad taking me to the park? Can't you have someone else nurse the baby and take me instead?? WHY ARE YOU SAYING NO TO ME?!"). I didn't realize until after Jude's colic went away just how much of an anxious mess it had made me. And that cluelessness seemed to come again during Jude's transition period. There were a few times when I thought, "Man, I love you more than life itself, but I don't like you very much right now." Most of the time I thought he was doing pretty well. There was an afternoon when my mom was helping me and Jude was upstairs in his crib shirking his nap and wailing when I put my head in my hands and said, "I don't think I can do this?!" I really do rely on his naps. Anyway I'm positive I'll have days like that again but so far things have been fine. I am out and about because I have to be. Jude doesn't handle cabin fever
well at all. I have figured out my MO for the grocery store, loading the kids, the park, chasing the garbage man every Friday, etc. I haven't tried Costco yet with both kids, and think it'll be months before I try a restaurant with them in tow (unless Jeff is there), but everything else has been fine.
Mostly this is all possible because Graham has been such a sweetheart. He's got me wrapped around his tiny mitten-ed fingers with his whole way of not ever really crying.
This is also possible because once Jude is napping and down for the night, I do basically nothing. We have had a looong stream of meals brought in for the entire month of February. Accepting them was starting to feel inappropriate. But I haven't had to cook much except for breakfast and arranging Jude's lunch. Except for some cleaning, when Jude is out, I am lying down recouping my energy and having Graham time. I protect my Graham/Rest time with the gusto of a thousand suns. We went out with some friends to dinner ONCE and the next day I was hurting pretty bad. So until Graham is sleeping through the night (and I won't sleep train till the 3 month mark) I will be ignoring hobbies, plans to redo the kids' bathroom, and no Nights Out with girlfriends or my lover. 2 more months.
Now that Jude is largely back to his old self, I am enjoying some of the positives that come with being the mother of a 2 year old. He's pushing my buttons LIKE CRAZY (and gets a few Time Outs almost daily), but this age does not get its due credit for procuring some of the cutest little habits and mannerisms. He gets very concerned about Graham if he cries, when Graham is sitting in the swing Jude will pile blankets and burp cloths on him, if I'm nursing without the Boppy he'll bring it to me without being asked, and he gives Graham waaaay more kisses than he gives me. Jude is still uncommonly obsessed with anything with an engine and wheels. He wants to know the name of EVERYTHING, and points to anything and asks, "This??" alllllllllll the live-long day. He's not as excited about saying the words, though, so we had a Speech Therapy evaluation today. In a few weeks we'll know if he qualifies for the program. He's also getting tubes in his ears a week from tomorrow, which will put an end to his 2 month ear ache. Besides riding around on his push cars, driving the toy trains around their tracks, playing with friends at the park, yelling, "CRUCK!! (Truck)" 50,000 times, throwing a few tantrums, going for walks, and running errands, his favorite thing to do is get chased around the house (tickled upon capture), or "flying" around while piggy back on moi. He is such a buddy with a zest for life that is endlessly endearing. He may give Graham a swat just to get a rise out of me, or if I'm about to take an illegal object from him he may chuck it across the room as a power play, and he may scream like a banshee the entire time the Home Teachers are here, but he's still pretty cool.
And as for my Zen baby, Graham is more alert every day, he found his voice, he is close to smiling, squeaks while he nurses, sleeps on his side, and for the most part is text book about nights. I am reeeeaaally enjoying him.