Saturday was a little better, today was much better, and I have hope anew for this week. Part of it was naps and trying to figure out if he needs to drop one or if he's just doing some flukey things and still needs two, how much of it is teething, and how much of it is that I just need to face it: I have a wild one on my hands. A wild one. He also laughs when I firmly say "NO" when he is hurrying over to dig into the fireplace. Nice.
Which brings me to something else. As I've told a few other moms about this trying week and they all said, "Oh yes, it's hard when you just have one." I thought that was sort of odd because I usually hear moms saying they miss the days when their attention was not pulled in so many directions by their plural progeny. If you can click out of your google reader and have more than one child I'd love to hear your thoughts.
As I said in the last post, just about the time I was about to drop him in his crib (which he has broken and maybe has a couple of functioning weeks left in it), put in my ear buds, and rock back and forth in the corner of a room, he'd do something much too sweet like put his pudgy hands on my face, get all up in my grill, and sort of look at me like he's telling me, "Hi, Mom. Don't worry, I'm just messing with you." And then after just a second and a half of that mother-son non-verbal communication he'd start bouncing on my lap with his mouth wide open giving me a couple slobber kisses when he could work that into his bounces.
Oh our little Juju.
7 comments:
gurllll, i dont know how you do it. gimme him one day you need to pamper yo'self! im an excellent sitter :)
I will say that this second time around with a baby, I don't read into her moods/behavior nearly as much and the isolation isn't as severe because I have a talkative two year old to keep me laughing. Also, if she doesn't take good naps we just get out of the house and stay busy instead of fight the naptime fights. Some days I think two kids is actually easier than one, especially because they are starting to "play" together a bit and Olivia isn't nearly as needy as Madeline was. I also think as a mom of two I've just learned that I basically get no free time during the day and I'm OK with that. It is tough right now with Jude, but I promise it gets easier and even more fun!!
It doesn't matter if you have one, four, or nine, this age is REALLY hard. They get into everything, they're trying to learn their boundaries (and it is unfortunately done by doing naughty things and having NO told to them), they're cranky from their teeth hurting, their bodies hurt from growing so quickly, they're over-tired from not sleeping well...it's thoroughly exhausting. The only thing that I can tell you after doing it so many times is this: this is normal and it's just a wave you have to ride and two: leave your emotions out of it. It'll make things easier. He's not being spiteful or trying to be mean to you, as much as it seems like it. He's being an intelligent toddler and learning about the physical and social parameters around him. Just keep saying no to the naughty things, showing him love, giving positive reinforcements about the good things he's doing and cut yourself some slack. You're doing great. You're doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing! You are rocking this. Trust me. (By the way, we totally call Juniper "JuJu" too. As if they didn't already, now they must really get married. "Do you JuJu take JuJu to be your lawfully wedded wife? And do you JuJu take JuJu to be your lawfully wedded husband?" and then they can have lots of colicky babies together as payback to both of their mothers. The End.)
I have a few theories about this, mostly because my mom and many others have said the same thing, more kids equals easier kids. And my theory is this, all kids are different and hard in their own way but rarely do you have 2 really hard babies next to each other so yes, by comparison, the one looks easier. Plus the older ones begin to help you, so you have two helping hands not one big octopus mommy grabby and doing everything. (McKay and Adilay have been little dolls at the age you're talking about, Capri NOT so much)
After having Owen and making it through the first year, I decided that I needed a good two years to mentally step off my consistent anxiety driven days with him. (Since day one he didn't sleep, breath, or eat and had enough energy to make you pass out half way through the day.) On his first birthday I found out I was pregnant with Reese. Reese is a gem. Sleeps, eats, and breathes just fine. Owen is still hard but he is becoming more independent and aware of boundaries. He is one but tries to help out as much as he can with Reese. Toddlers are hard but what they are learning now is going to shape their personality, so I try to wake up each day and give it another shot. If my eye balls are going to pop out half way into the day then we go push trucks around for a good few hours. Oh and I have yet to get dressed and look cute for a solid day. One can only hope:)
The hardest part about having children is once you feel like everything is in sync they throw you through a loop. 1 is hard, and then you have 2 and think "what was I thinking 1 being hard" but it's hard because it's a huge change in your life, the same with the more you have...but you eventually truly get the hang of it and things are happy..until your children head butt each other...but then it's all happy again! I think that turning one is super hard, so many transitions...walking, molars, sleep changes...food changes. Both my kids had a hard time transitioning but I feel like at almost 17 mos. Sylvia is finally syncing in to a nice rhythm. Enjoy the 2nd year because then they turn 2.5 yrs old they become monsters! Unless you're Sylvia who already is a dramatic monster.
Meredith, I won't pretend to have ANY of the answers, much less ALL of them; but...as a father of 7, I can tell you it's the age. I remember with Abbie (my first), it was a constant battle of wits. And I thought, "Oh, holy crap. I am going to be battling her for her entire life." And now, she is the most helpful and sweetest young lady EVER. (15 this August, and I couldn't ask for a better person to be my daughter.) And while some personalities are more docile at every age, no matter what, some aren't - and that's ok. Just marinate him in love, like I am confident that you are. Seriously. No seriously, if anything happens to Katie and I, you are inheriting 7 children. THAT'S the kind of confidence I have in you. (And no, I won't really do that to you. Breathe again.)
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