20 February 2009

cleaned out.

i'm bringing on a multi-level clean out.

clean out #1:



date and location TBA/D. mother meri always taught me to find a bargain, and in the earlier part of 2008 i think i found too many bargains, and now have wonderfully underappreciated things i want to unload.

clean out #2:

detox.

this is no detox of the "no treats except for sundays" breed. this is the detox that asks you to reach down into the cob-webbed craters of soul harbored resoluteness of heart and mind. it stretches 7 days, each one banning processed foods and accompanied by what i'm calling "the sauce." it is apparently whisking my insides like never before, and if you want to know what sorts of messages said whisking sends from my taste buds to my brain, i'll tell you. it tastes like rotten fruits mixed with mud and drain-o (and something else that the internet just isn't prepared for me to write). the first day i followed the directions and mixed the tiny vile with the quart of water. that just tasted like watery rotten fruits mixed with mud and drain-o, which, in case you've escaped the experienced, isn't so much more pleasant than the concentrated version. i was losing the stamina to muster the stamina for 73 sips of watered down hell, so today i chocked it down in 4 swigs. each time i looked at the glass for mercy, willing it to absorb itself into my colon without having to pass through my tastebuds, and then i looked at that brown liquid with hateful resentment, and then i realized,

wait. i brought this on myself. in fact, i paid money for the experience! i just want to do right by my mortal shell! i've got too much to live for!

please contact your local arbonne sales consultant to hippety hop on the bandwagon.

4 comments:

[AnnieR] said...

Detox #1: very good for you.
Detox #2: NOT GOOD FOR YOU. there's no way.

Shauna said...

um what are you selling? i like crap.

also i shall call martha and tell her to take it from work and give it to me. That way i wont feel bad if i dont use it, and the sins will be on her head.

::Meredith:: said...

i'm selling good stuff!!!

what do you think -- should i do it in HB or at my parents' house in irvine?

i might send an invite and we can all do it together. i bet i'm not the only one with crap to unload.

April said...

Oh I did that detox! And you are so right on... that stuff taste HORRIBLE. But its supposed to be reall good for you. So... Good luck!