She: I hear you have a birthday coming up!
She: So you're turning...?
She: (Eyes bug out) Ooooooh, gettin up there, aren't we?! Getting into the double digits!
Me: Well, didn't the double digits come 16 years ago?
She: (Looks sideways, straightens her skirt so the zipper is correctly aligned, and walks out of the room.)
If there's one thing that makes my stomach churn and tie in knots, it's when people grumble and fret about their age. The calendar is what it is, and nothing, save it be the time machine that Chuck Norris invented but immediately destroyed with a swift round house, can change it. No no, the world shan't stop spinning on its axis, no matter the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth over the age that was and is now gone forever.
Of course, when I was 18 I thought, "Oh my GOSH, when Cam goes on his mission I'll be 26!!!" and that seemed
a) impossibly far away, so far away it would probably never come and good thing, too, because it is
2) very very old, and
d) the one nice thing about it is I'd surely be married to a Venture Capitalist or the future King of England by then and vacationing in Saint Tropez to ring in the new year.
But then, I like to think I've done some growing up since then. I know now I'll not be old until I hit 28 (snicker, snicker, Annie and Elizabeth). Plus, my mother birthed me at age 26, so that pretty much had to be the most rewarding, entertaining, stupendous year of her ENTIRE life. Why shouldn't this year be the same por moi?
I am amazed, however, at how quickly time does sprint by me. And it's true what they say - time does indubitably pick up the pace with increasing fervor, no matter what. 2007 went by much more quickly than 2006. And a few weeks ago in my home ward in Irvine I nearly choked on my Sacrament bread when I realized CADE GUBERNICK had passed it to me. CADE GUBERNICK. I was at one of his first public outings when I went to see Twister with Elizabeth and Annie and a bunch of 1st ward people. I remember he was a little tiny bag of brand new, curled up on his mommy's shoulder, and I thought he was so uncommonly sweet. Now that little cooing bundle is old enough to be texting the ladies and buying Oxy-10. I had to fight the impulse over and over again to run up to him after the meeting, pinch his cheeks, and say in a shrill and frumpy voice, "I REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE YAY BIG!!!" Because while I am old enough to see kids I babysat hit puberty, I am not too old to remember how hellish THAT conversation is for the one who was yay big. Dignity, always dignity.
I appreciate the time I've had and the things I've been able to do. 2008 has been a rough year and I'm not thinking it's been easy for everyone else and Wo is only me, but it has been filled with what do I dos and where do I do thems and who do I do them withs. As I am on the brink of a bday I must, MUST take an inventory of my life.
Here are the things you've been able to do:
-go to paris, london, mexico, live in costa rica, and 16 of los estados unidos.
-serve a mission
-see 3 of my best friends be eternally strapped to their dream boats
-bond with my nieces and nephews
-graduate from BYU
-go to many a concert
-be a part of the studio audience for Full House, Leeza Gibbons show and Donny & Marie
-blog! and blog! and blog!
-gee, lots more stuff.
And here is the wonderful thing about life: while I have gotten some good things under my belt, I have TIME to do the following:
-visit the rest of the countries on the planet
-tour de temples
-learn how to do hair so I can give my future angels mohawks and highlights
-fall in love with the right dude and do something celestially consequential about it
-get fat and pregnant and then post baby bringing be out of excuses not to join the spin class craze my sister has been bitten by
-make a quilt
-master creme brulet
-be a bridesmaid 39 more times
-go back to Costa Rica
-write so many short stories they actually warrant being compiled into one glorious hard back book
-buy a patio heater, a plasma tv, a hammock, and a pack of dried mangos in one trip to costco
and heavens, I want to do so much more. I want to Billy Blanks this life. If I don't turn 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, etc. I can't do all the things I want to, the greedily indulgent and the noble things. So bring it. Bring it on, and I care not if I have to haul double digits and gray hairs along with me.
And that's all I have to say about that.