last night i watched the last 30 minutes of a lifetime made-for-tv movie, living with the enemy. is it so wrong that i enjoyed every single second of it? one way i know elizabeth and i are doggy paddling in the same gene pool waters is this achilles heel of love we share for a movie a la television. this particular one was jam packed with "gotcha!" moments and dialogue such as, "he knows. he knows...everything." "i loved you more deeply in 5 minutes than i loved shannon in 5 years of marriage. it was a mistake." then there was a gun and an unTHINKable twist! holy riveting.
then after we found out WHO was living with WHAT ENEMY, i went to jordi's house with some other people. *sidenote: jordi's dad was elizabeth's OBGYN for my nephew's birth. fer small world!* we watched wipe-out and i about keeled over laughing. it was in this moment i realized i have changed a lot in the last 11 months since i evacuated costa rica. my mind wandered back to 2 nights after i returned home. i watched the illusionist with cameron, and then went upstairs to bed. 30 minutes later sarah came in to find me on my bed in the fetal position, sobbing, my mascara in big frightening trails down my face.
"what's wrong?!?!" she asked.
"i (gasp wheeze gasp gasp and snort)-didn't-dooooooo (gasp) ANYTHING that MATTERS today!!! and i watched the illusionist!"
"i know, it's kind of a melancholy, eerie movie, huh."
"no....it's just.......it all comes back to everyone needs to know how important they are!!!!!"
then i think i went on to explain how if all the characters in that movie realized their divine nature they wouldn't have struggled in certain ways. like hollywood is concerned with divine nature.
that was when sarah almost took back her statement made the previous day that i wasn't that awkward.
but anyway, if 11 months later i'm watching cheesy lifetime channel movies and watching the show that is a blend between american gladiators and america's funniest home videos, the mission awkwardness must be past me. it's the little victories that get me.