even if you know me, you might not know that

1) i can find the alto line to almost any melody.

2) my two kanine teeth are FAKE. they grew in as tiny upside down triangles, and so i had to get veneers on them when i was 15, just after my braces were removed. they weren't cheap; i've actually had 49 marriage proposals in my life, but when each suitor became privy to the fact that he would one day have to pay for their replacement (nothing lasts forever, even in dentistry!), it turned into the deal breaker.

3) i despise decorative bed pillows.

it seems every girl i know loves and has them, but to me, those little euro squares, neck rolls, etc. (and i had to look those names up on aubrey's blog because to me they're all just called "stupid baby pillows") symbolize an obligatory waste of time. their existence means that if/when (emphasis on the if) i make my bed, i have to chase them down from whatever corner of my room i've chucked them into the night (or 3 weeks) before, and then i must most daintily arrange them in a bouquet of cotton or linen or what have you onto the poofy douvet cover (which i am ALL ABOUT) under which i have slumbered and dreamed. then just a number of hours later all that exquisite arranging must be undone, and you must find something to do with the little cutsies all over again. there. i said it. i despise them, and wish for just a simple pillow at the head of the bedsky. done and done.

4) i love the carpenters. karen carpenter, what a voice. another drippy old singer i love is judy collins.

5) when i "go to my happy place" my mind escorts me back to the day i spent at versailles with mum and sarah. particularly the walk down to the little hamlet "peasant" village that marie antoinette commissioned; they have a 4 horned billy goat there! WHO ELSE has a 4 horned billy goat, i ask you?!

6) i've never been stung by a bee or broken a bone, but when i was 11, the last school day before christmas break, i fell off the monkey bars and fractured my humeris. what is the humeris, you ask? why, it's the bone betwixt the elbow and shoulder, and i did wrong by mine that day. the real tragedy, however, was not that my parents were not at home and in 1993 cell phones were non-existant for the common man. the real tragedy was not that i had to sit and wait in the school nurse's office for hours before they tracked down an emergency contact (3 cheers for julie weaver) who took me to her house and let me eat all the english toffee i wanted while watching a christmas movie. no, the real tragedy was that because of the scintillating humor of most of the then-irvine 5th ward, at the christmas party the next evening i had the following conversation oh, i'd say, about 390 times:

them: OH! and what happened to you?!
me: i fractured my humeris.
them: [chuckle chortle] golly! that's not very HUMOROUS/HUMERIS!!!!! [dissolved in hysterical laughter]
[cue me trying desperately to keep my eyes from rolling to canada and back, and aborting the conversation, looking desperately for sanctuary in the company of elizabeth and annie.]

7) ringo starr is my favorite beatle. actually, i think when i was younger i just wanted to be different from annie and elizabeth, and they were in love with paul, and i really didn't care for george or john, so my heart was always inevitably going to go to ringo. in interviews i've seen with him in recent years he comes off very bitter and blah, but i've always been a sucker for a drummer, and i think his schnoz is cute. ringo starr, you're such a grump you probably don't believe me, but i love you.

8) i am always cold. always. except for when i walk across hot coals.

9) i hate fedora hats. actually, i hate most hats, at least on mine own head.

10) i had a car "nudge" before i got my license, but never since.

and now i'm bored with this post.