23 December 2008


My calling in my ward is FHE co-chair. Last night's activity was watching Elf whilst flexing our service/charity muscles and writing letters to missionaries in our Stake. With many people already departed for holiday glee in their tierras materna, it was a small, cozy group of us scribbling away. I still have some Costco cookies leftover, macadamia nut/white chocolate chunk included, so if you happen to be happening by and hear a growl in your tummy, feel free to steal one.

Anyway, before I sent out these letters to these Elders and 1 senior sister, I had to read through each note. Michael "Sanchez" Santiago by far and away wins the award for...whatever.

#1 to an Elder in Puerto Rico


I was told in the MTC in Spain that if I worked hard in the mission field, that my wife would be be beautiful. Something like the harder you work the hotter your wife will be. Bullocks. Utter bullocks. I ain't married and I worked very, very hard. Like I was an amazing missionary. But now I know you should work hard not for what you get our of it, but for what you can give as a servant of the Lord on His errand. You will perform miracles if you have the faith. Merry Christmas, Elder.

#2 to an single sister in her 60s, serving in Salt Lake, Family History style:

Thanks for your hard work. [As a command:] The Lord bless your great service. Keep up the great work. Feel free to call me when you come home. I'll buy dinner (949) the-rest-of-his-real-number-which-i-won't-post-out-of-respect-for-his-privacy.

#3 to an Elder in Ogden, UT


If I had to choose between making out with a beautiful girl or knocking doors and serving the Lord, I would probably choose making out. But what is more important? Making out is a mere temporary pleasure. But service to the Lord changes lives for eternity. Your works echo in the eternities. You can perform miracles if you have faith in the Lord. That kind of service brings eternal pleasure. May you see miracles, Elder, is my prayer.

There were more. I'll stop there.

Happy Christmas FHE to all and to all a goodnight!

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